If Not For You

If Not For You (part I)

A/N: happy reading.

Sorry guys. I know it took me long to update but its here now.

It took me time to make this readable I guess..😅

#WARNING : this chapter might acknowledge some abuse. So please proceed with caution.

Hope u guys enjoy it.

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Third person's POV:

Early morning, in one of the flats of a five storey building just around the corners in the busy street of Bangkok, a 5 feets 9 inches man with petite body in his late thirties stands in front of a body length mirror.

His blonde hair falling on his forehead, slightly tussle and damp. His pale round face devoid of any colour, glows in the reflection as sunrays penetrating through the parted curtains of the balcony from behind him, adding brightness to his freshly showered look.

His eyes shines as he blink them few time. His plump lip stretching in a thin line looking back at the sleeping form of a man on the bed. His perfectly manured eyebrows fussing together, marginally, as the man stirred in his sleep.

His honey brown eyes quivers in anexiety at that and he quickly looks down to force his messy fingers to button up his black satin shirt, hastily. His body shakes as he sped up his movement and gets done with the clothing.

Taking calculative steps he moves slowly around the room, preventing himself from making any kind of noise as he picks up a woonden box from the bed side table. He smiles sadly roaming his pale elegant hand over the box that hold a great secret or memory, whatever other might call it, for him.

His eyes linger momentarily at the photo frame beside the box, gazing longingly at it before turning it around. Its hard for him but what more can he do other then to keep going.

He needed this. Atleast this very time.

Heaving a sigh his eyes shift to his husband snoring softly, dead to the outside world when his glistening eyes with unshade tear became void of any emotion.

Placing a chastic kiss on his forehead, he tucked the wooden box in his hand and made his way to the exit. His body rigid, walking robotically with a face empty of any expression, he holds the doornob for a second looking behind, letting for a second the turmoil show on his face before it hardens again.

With a determined resolve, he steps out closing the door behind. Making his way to the busy world that once was his solace but now its nothing more than a fighting arena for him where he had came to loose the match of his mind to his sanity, questioning his ever so bubbly self that he once was.

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A lone soul stumbled on his feets, his back hitting the wall behind him hard as his body dropped on the floor. A distortingly painful cry following afterwards as he folds his knees against his chest.

Both hands securing his body in a ball as he shook of the terrible view he just witnessed. Tears blocking his sight as his eyes blurred in unshaded agony of the scene playing in front of him. His whole self trembling with great excruciation.

'Why...'

His nails drawing blood as his fingers digged deep in his fist. Cutting through the soft flesh of his palm leaving behind the wound of desperation and suffering he tried hard to swallow.