If Not For You

If Not For You (part III)

A/N: happy reading..

Sorry that I am slow with updates... but don't worry we will eventually get there...

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Third Person's POV:

Kongpob watched as Arthit slept. Soft snore echoing in their room, his chest going up and down with every breath he took. His expression softens as he saw his husband snuggle in the warmth of the comforter under chilling AC yet decided against of lowering its temperature in fear of waking Arthit up.

He leans forward securing the blanket more properly around Arthit, getting a satisfying hum in response. He chuckles kissing his phii's temple ever so softly.

His lips lingering there for a while before he stands and makes his way to the balcony side window. Standing there he heaves a long dreadful sigh.

His left shoulder bumps over the window panel making a soft noise. He folds his arms around his chest, as if trying to cocoon himself as small as he possible and then faces the glass. His own image reflecting over it as his dark shadow from earlier fades away with the increasing brightness of sun, each passing minute.

It was already dawn when he had woken up from his uneasy sleep, but had opted to stay still with Arthit dozing off over his chest. His pale cheeks pressed against Kong's hard muscle while he caressed Arthit's back. Kongpob would have savoured that moment more if not for his heart's loud palpitations that made it hard for him to stay still.

He had always been an early person. Waking even before sun is up and then leaving for his morning run. But thats not the case for today.

The adrenaline rush he feels every morning while jogging is missing, somehow leaving him with dull and heavy mood. That he don't want to do anything and decided to pass his time looking out, at the rising ball of heat, spreading its warmth all over.

After their last night's encounter, Arthit was shaken up to his bones. He had cried heavily, draining all his remaining energy to function and had lost his consciousness in between. The pent up emotions and all the things he kept to himself till now, finally catching up to him.

His vulnerable and insecure self had let loose the pain in form of pathestic cries. He was unable to form any meaningful word when Kongpob had cradled his trembling body to his blossom.

To whom he had clinged as if Kongpob is the only life source that will help him survive. As if he will break into pieces if ever tried to be separated.

Kongpob had wanted answers. He was even planning of confronting Arthit of the secrets he had been keeping buried, deep within himself for all those years that they been married. Yes thinking of that now, yesterday has counted as their sixth anniversary but all the excitement to celebrate their special day, were long forgotten.

If it had been his anniversary few years back, then this room would not have been kept dark but lighted with different decorating bulbs and balloons. Wishes and congratulations would have been exchanged while cutting the cake, other then the loneliness and silence with what he was left behide after Arthit had marched away that morning.

Their friends and families might have been there, sharing their happiness of the milestone they had come together to accomplish. Gifts would have been exchanged with words of gratitude and appreciation.

They would have enjoyed that small get together with the people who meant a lot to them, other then spending his time waiting for his phii to get back home safe and sound.

His P'Arthit is a grown up man, he know. He know that Arthit is capable of taking care of himself but his nonchalance scares him.

He fears if someday he have to wake up alone in this large room, knowing Arthit had left again but this time for good. Knowing he will no more be coming back to him as usual in the evening. He fears of that dreadful day if it ever happen to come.