I had dreams, they were clouds in my coffee

CHAPTER 18

What does this mean?
"Where did you get this?" I'm confused, I don't understand why he didn't tell me. I wondered for so long, I was even afraid he was into some shady stuff "Mew is a pilot?" I ask in disbelief looking at his giant photo on the magazine, where there's an article about him becoming a pilot at such a young age.

"Yes. Exactly. Or at least he was, he quit 2 years ago" I glance at Mew serving at some tables, he must feel my eyes on him cause he turns around and smiles when he notices I'm looking. "He was actually a pilot from my company, thats why I thought I saw him before. When I asked my colleagues about him they all said nice things but avoided the reason why he left. I tried asking but the ones who knew told me it's better if I don't know" I'm listening to Mild but I can't stop looking towards Mew, I have so many questions, so many doubts "Damn they made me more curious. I'm gonna discover it Kana!"

"Don't." I finally look back at my friend "He'll tell me when he's ready. I don't wanna know if he doesn't want me to know yet." It was something hard on him, I saw how he reacted when seeing his ex colleagues, I can't imagine the reason but I know it hurt him deeply.

When the day finishes and I close the door I feel a little heavy after what I discovered, I don't want to force him to tell me so I'm not gonna share my discovery. When I turn the key I feel a pressure on my shouder, Mew rests his chin on me and hugs me from behind before sighing heavily "I'm exhausted. Today was tiring." his closness makes me feel relieved and since he's hugging me "now I feel better". He raises his head and glances at me "What did you say?" I shake my head "ignore my mumbling, I was just thinking out loud". He hugs me tighter and nuzzles into my neck "I don't wanna sleep without you next to me tonight".
I ruffle his hair "but you have to. I need to go to my mother's, she said she has something to talk about and it's unusual for her" he pouts and his arms circle me with even more strengh, I scold him for squeezing me too hard "It's because I like you so much that I feel we're never close enough".

"Do you feel tired after last night?" he suddenly asks while we're cleaning, i shake my head "You're not hurting, right?" I blush for all these questions, but I secretly like he's worried "I'm fine. Stop asking." I'm more than fine, I admit sitting down isn't exactly comfortable as before but it's only a light discomfort I feel, but we're closer now and it's amazing, plus it was higly satisfying.

Tonight I didn't want to let go either, I wanted to sleep another night in his warm embrace but I need to go to my mother's. When I enter she welcomes me so kindly with dinner already on the table. From my memories my mother only cooked three times: the first one when my grandma passed away, then when it was my granpa's turn and last when my dad died too. So as much as I like her cooking for me, I don't associate this rare event with good news "What happened Mum? We don't have family left so who died?" she's confuses for a second but then giggles "Nodoby, don't worry. Sit down, I just wanted to do something nice for my son" I don't believe her but maybe she doesn't want to talk right now. "Something happened at work? You only cook when you're extremely sad, I know you very well mom" I insist when we finish eating "Nothing escapes you... But I'm fine actually, it's you I'm worried about. This is not easy to say... " what is she trying to say? she wants to tell me she doesn't approve my relationship with Mew? But she seems okay with it. I'm afraid.

It's 1am, will he be sleeping? Will  I wake up his whole family? But I'm already here and there's only one place I want to be right now after the talk with my mother: Mew's arms. I take the phone out of my pocket and with shaking hands I dial his number. Please be awake. "Gulf?" a sleepy voice answer me and I would cry right in this moment if I could. "Can you come out?" there's a minute of silence from the other side and then the front door opened revealing Mew in a tank top and boxer. I close the call and get closer to the gate while he runs to me and opens it "What's wrong baby, why are you here in the middle of the night?" he has a shocked expression but he's rubbing his eyes to wipe the sleep away. "Can I sleep with you?" his face is full of confusion and shock mixed together: eyebrow raised, frown, squint eyes and curved lips "S-sure, I'm surprised, are you okay?" I nod and hug him for relief "I just want to be with you" he hugs me back and kisses my head lightly. The house is dark, everyone is sleeping so he tells me to be quiet, luckily his room is on the first floor while his parent's is downstairs on the opposite side of the house, they probably won't hear us if we talk anyhow. We reach his room and close the door behind us, Mew gives me one of his shirts to sleep in and a towel to dry myself after the shower. I'm still bothered by my mother's words and I feel sorry for fighting with her, but seeing Mew made me ease a little the anger I had, I know he can see I'm not fine but I don't wanna trouble him with my problems when he has already his past he's fighting against. After showering I put his t-shirt on and although we are about the same height he's broader so his clothes are a little loose on me. I go back to the room and find him already lying on the bed, under the sheets looking at his phone, but when he sees me he smiles staring at me; he pats the space next to him for me to lay on "I'm happy you came" he puts his arm around me the moment I lay down on the matress "can you hug me all night?" I don't care if I look desperate or if I'm too intense, I really need this "I can hug you as much as you want, but who would have thought you were such a cuddler" he giggles and kisses my forhead "Goodnight baby".