I had dreams, they were clouds in my coffee

CHAPTER 23

"So you know.." Mew's mother is sitting across the table in front of me. After reading all the articles I could find about the accident I called his mother, I tried to call him but his phone is turned off, and decided to go for his mother, so she could explain me better. "But why does he say he's a monster? It wasn't his fault. It was an accident" she sighs sipping the coffee I prepared for her, we're the only two at the café right now "It was, but he was the one on command and it's natural he somehow feels responsable. Although the plane was defected and he couldn't do anything about it. Actually, he did helped, he manged to do an emergency landing that saved lots of people. Unfortunately it wasn't enough to save all" I gulp feeling a knot in my throat thinking of how he must have felt after that "He was in the hospital for two weeks, after being in a coma due to the crash. When he woke up and realized what happened he felt immediately a bit guilty, thinking he could've done more, but he was slowly accepting the truth that it wasn't his fault, until... " she suddenly stops talking and looks down his cup "He's a strong man but he had to go to therapy, he decided to stop being a pilot and for a year fought depression. He has some nightmares and panic attacks when the memories of the accident cross his mind, but he's okay now. He went back to work, he found you.. "

"He left me" she gives a bitter smile "He did it because he panicked. He thinks you'd believe he's a monster, like someone else did". After our talk she leaves and promise me she'll talk to Mew too to make him be reasonable.

Two days passed and I haven't heard from Mew, but I miss him with every part of me. Today I got a bit distracted by Run who's back from his trip, and it's a blessing since the café is not very busy and I have too much time on my hands to miss Mew, I wish he would only pick up the phone to hear me saying I don't care about anything, I don't think it was his fault. Accident or not he's still my Mew, nothing will change that. After our catch up Mild comes, but this time he's not alone, one of his collegues is with him. It's Mew's ex. I don't wanna serve him but I can't refuse, I don't own the place and I can't decide to kick out someone who didn't do anything.

"Hey Kana, I have news." Mild gets closer to the counter leaving the other at the table and, after greeting Run, whispers to me "I found out what happened to Mew, but where is he?" Run shake his head as to tell him it's better to not ask me "I know, the accident. He told me... kind of" Mild looks at me shocked "Oh you know. Why didn't you tell me? I spent days trying to find out something. Until that guy there finally told me, although I don't like him at all" he points in Art's direction. Of course it was him. "Isn't it shocking? I can't imagine how-" I interrupt him "Mild, can we not talk about it please?".
"Why don't you like him?" I suddenly question, thinking about it, Mew said they were going out but he turned his back at him when he was most fragile "He's just braggy. I don't like how he talks about the whole thing. At one point he made it about himself, saying he saved himself from being his boyfriend, and used a word to describe Mew that wasn't nice at all" the pieces of the puzzled somehow fit all together in my mind in this exact moment,

.. when an accident occurred and I needed him to support me he was very harsh and left me making me feel miserable...
Mew's words

... He thinks you believe he's a monster, like someone else did...
His mother's

"Was the word he used monster?" Run gives me an interrogative glance while Mild was shocked "How did you guessed it?".
Rage overpowers me and before I could think about it I reached for that bastard and punch him hard on the face, when I see him on the ground bleeding I realize it's not enough for me, I was always against violence but someone that was so mean and rotten to use such horrible words to someone who's already weakened, knowning how much it affected Mew so much in that moment and still does. "He didn't need your filthy mouth bastard, he needed someone to tell him he did everything he could. You're nothing but a rotten bastard" I take him by the collar and punch him again, the others run to stop me but I'm already away from him "Go away and never come back. Don't ever mention Mew again, don't even think of breathing around him or I'll be the real monster to you." I push him out of the door and shut the door ignoring his screams about how he's gonna report me.

I need to find Mew.

Run and Mild don't need explanations, they both keep being silent when I tell them to close the café for me and I run away. I arrive in front of Mew's house, I know he's not here, his mother told me he hasn't come home for days but I think I know where he is, the only problem I don't have the adress or a car to go there and I believe for both the only one who can help me is his mother.