CHAPTER I: Yaande

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"No Yaande, It's over!", He yelled with a straight face and unfaltering tone.

I had mixed feelings. I was happy yet insecure. I was free yet imprisoned. I was surprised yet disappointed. I was in bondage. An enslaved captive yet free. The unconditional condition. The unlimited limit.

" Katlego, you can not leave. We can always work this out. How about Tristan?", I asked as tears began to well up in my eyes.

I didn't understand myself. I was betraying myself yet again. I promised myself to never get into an abusive relationship. I promised myself that the father to my child would be my husband. I promised myself I would be Katlego's wife.

I made promises I thought would keep. I became miserable and that was reason enough to leave. But I didn't want to yet again. I had a son who needed his father around.

Katlego was the sweetest nightmare I ever came across. He was the man every woman wanted and wished was in bed with. He was spectacularly handsome. Handsome as hell, they would say. He was your biggest temptation both by looks and romance.

Above working for the office of the president, being good-looking and hard-working, he was abusive.

He was never smoking or drinking but he was almost always beating me. Several times, I would land in the hospital and would end up giving lame excuses of falling off the stairs or being run over by a random vehicle. I loved him so much it hurt.

Let me tell you a bit about Kat and me.

I met him at a church seminar and we talked endlessly from that day onwards. He completed my sentences and understood me very well. He was the male version of whom I was. A year into our relationship, I fell pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Tristan.

Tristan is our first child together. He is three and a half years old. He is a very bright and joyful kid. We are the happiest and most satisfied parents alive. And to imagine that all this may sink overnight? I wasn't willing to let go.

I had planned to leave Kat long ago but every time I brought up the topic, I'd get sandwiched between his punches. I slowly got used to being beaten and tossed around but I had to think of Tristan.

Do not get me wrong, Kat was a very good father. He was responsible, loving, and supportive in all honesty. But then again, My son couldn't grow in such an environment.

"You can stay with Tristan ... I'll be sending child support every month', He said as I snapped back into reality.

It wasn't about the money. That's one thing he never seemed to understand from the beginning.

I had been cohabiting with him despite having my own home. I had a small cabin I lent out to one of my friends. Over a year ago, the government was selling some property and I got a loan to buy the cabin.

" So I'm moving out?", I asked a little surprised yet expecting no answer.

This was going to be a little different. I'd need to readjust most of the things around me.

" You can go with everything we ever bought together, I will get new stuff by the end of the month", he said lifting the cloud of silence between us.

" I'll move out immediately. Excuse me ", I said, expecting him to beg me to stay back.

I excused myself and headed to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and met me. Was I ready? Or was I just playing myself?

I sat on the closed toilet seat and asked myself if that's what I wanted.

Was I not worth it? Could he be seeing someone else? Did I do something wrong? I had endless questions.

Quickly, I unlocked my phone and dialed my best friend - Yvette's number.

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