Chasing Sunrise

Twenty-Three

Evan had been extra jumpy that last night when he'd fed on me. He'd woken me up from a deep sleep, his ice-cold hands on the bare skin of my arms. I had wondered how he'd gotten into my room; now I knew he'd likely used his mist form.

"Lia," he whispered. "Lia, wake up."

I'd dragged myself from the depths of unconsciousness and lay blinking up at the ceiling for a long moment while reality coalesced around me. Evan was seated on the edge of my bed, looking down at me.

"Hey," I said, sleepily.

"I need you to promise me something." His gray eyes looked ghostly in the darkness.

"Mmmm?"

"Don't invite anyone new into your room, okay?"

I stretched and sat up. "Okay."

"The girl who turned me, she's back. She found me, and she says I belong with her."

I nodded. Then it began to sink in that she was a vampire, and I realized I wasn't equipped to deal with her if she came after me.

"Lia, I don't want to be with her. I want to be with you."

On one level, my heart soared, but on another, reality intruded. Of course he preferred me. I was easier to manipulate, more malleable. This wasn't love. It was convenience.

"Do you want to be with me?" he asked. He'd kept his hands on my arms this whole time, his skin warming from the contact with mine.

It wasn't as if I could say no. Despite my resentment at all the compromises I'd made for him, I was hooked. Intellectually I knew our relationship wasn't healthy, but emotionally I was all in.

"Do you?" he pressed. His pupils were dilating. His methods for keeping me in his thrall might have been wrong, but the desire he felt for me looked real, and I couldn't see past that.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"Then let me turn you. You're smart, Lia. If you were also a vampire, you could figure out how to get away from this girl. Can I turn you?"

I rubbed my eyes, unable to fully wrap my head around what he was asking me. Vampirism didn't fit in with my plans to go to Princeton and eventually become an investment banker. Then again, neither did spending my last semester of high school so drained of energy that it was all I could do to maintain my GPA.

So it was a purely emotional decision when I nodded. I didn't think it through, and I didn't have time to reconsider before Evan slashed his own palm and pressed the cut to my lips.

Drinking blood is gross. Even the memory of it made me want to gag, but I managed to swallow a few drops, and then Evan fed on me, wrapping his arms around me. I lay back in bed, and had let him drain me until I lost consciousness.

*

By now we'd reached Aunt Cassie's driveway. Corban pulled in, parked, and turned his full attention to me. "Then what happened?" he asked.

"Nothing." I said. "I woke up in the morning, feeling like my skin was on fire and that made me realize I'd done something incredibly stupid. I didn't get out of the sunlight because I figured I'd rather die than be a vampire. When the burning stopped I looked at myself in the mirror and I was all... different. Prettier."

He nodded.

But I couldn't look at him. "You say I'm strong," I said. "I'm not. I was weak, and I ended up half-turned like this because I was so weak that I couldn't face what I'd done to myself."

For several heartbeats, Corban didn't reply. My own breaths and the almost silent thrum of the engine were the only sounds to fill that infinite silence.

Finally, he said, "You can have moments of weakness and still be strong, you know that?"

"In theory," I replied. "But that's not me."

"Well... I hear what you're saying about feeling ashamed of letting Evan manipulate you, but it takes strength to face down a decision like you did that morning. Most people would have given in to the pain, hidden from the sun and let the vampirism control the rest of their existence. Most people wouldn't have decided that death was better than a life enslaved."

I had not felt any of those noble feelings when I'd let the sun burn me. This was the second time in the last couple of months that I had a guy telling me how I really was. Evan had espoused the view that I was meant for him and that I wasn't the strong, independent woman I'd always believed I was.

Corban thought the opposite. The problem was, even if Corban believed I was the person I wished I was, I couldn't let his opinion matter too much.

I turned to him. "Thanks," I said, "but it's not for you to say how I really am."

His smile was knowing. "Exactly right. Just, for what it's worth? There's a reason why a lot of principled people have strict rules to keep themselves from temptation. It's not weak to know your weaknesses. That's strength."

I wondered if he was digging at me for refusing to be alone in my room with him.

But he changed the subject back to what mattered now. "What happened after the sun burned you that first morning?"

"I got up and got on with my day. I never saw Evan again. Typical situation of a guy bailing once he got what he wanted."

"Except he didn't. He lost you as a food source and never got your help. I'm guessing his sire got to him before he could find you again."

Perhaps, but I didn't care what Evan's reasons were for bailing on me. "What's your plan to deal with him and Darissa?"

"Well..." he said, "Evan's waiting by your window. First step is for you to talk to him and gather information. See if anything's changed about what he wants."

"He's outside my window?" I felt a jolt of panic.

Corban nodded. "They move fast in the dark, vampires. They kind of don't care about speed limits. Darissa dumped him off here and took the car."

"But... he's... is Cassie okay?"

"Yeah, the spell on the house is holding fine. I need you to go to talk to Evan."

I bit my lip. "Can you come in with me and just stay out of sight while I talk to him?"

Corban looked away. "I'd rather not."

"Why not?" I said. "You want me to face down a vampire on my own?"

"No, I'd rather you didn't talk to him at all, but this moment isn't about me and what I want."

"Excuse me?" I said. I did not get what his issue was. This guy was supposed to be a superior being, and I got the impression right now that he was being petty.

He looked sidelong at me. "First of all, I don't want to risk being seen by Evan. I mean, I don't think he'd be able to see me because I've seen no evidence of that, but since he's your sire and you can see me, it's theoretically possible. It wouldn't be the first time Darissa faked not having an advantage. Besides, when I think of what that guy did to you, I want to kill him. Just end his existence as fast as possible, but he's a key to Darissa and Darissa is dangerous. Do me a favor and don't make me endure watching him manipulate you."

"You want me to pray to your boss about this and just muddle through?"

"I'll be here, okay? I've got ways of watching over the situation as it unfolds."

I wanted to press the point, but I reminded myself that I'd gotten myself into this situation and Corban had already risked his life once tonight for me. His refusal to back me up confused me, but a lot of things about him confused me. Given he was two thousand years old, that shouldn't have been surprising.

I also knew deep down that I'd argued because I didn't want to face Evan and my terrible choices with him again. I opened my door and got out.