Harry Potter: Surviving the End

Home is Where the Heart Breaks

Harry was given his own room at the Weasley home and that is where he spent the majority of his time over the following weeks. The Weasleys tried to talk to him, but Harry turned them away. He just wanted to think.

So much had happened in his short life, and he had never had a chance to be a normal teenager. He had been fighting the war far too long. Now that it was over, he had no idea what he would do. This had been his life, ever since his parents were taken by the violence of Voldemort. Now that his rein of terror was over, Harry now had a chance at normal life, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he had no purpose anymore.

The one person he wanted to talk to about all this however was nowhere to be found. She had not sought him out as her family had. She had not cared to talk to him about any of the things she was thinking or feeling, much less the things he was working through. Why was she ignoring him? Soon, this line of thinking had taken over. His days were no longer filled with thoughts of his violent past, or his empty future. He had become consumed with thoughts of Ginny. The only person he had ever loved and she would not even come to see him in his most difficult time.

Of course these intense thoughts had to be kept inside his head. He did not have friends with whom he could discuss these issues. Most of them had died, while the few who were left were either trying to get on with their lives elsewhere, or were related to the girl in question.

After Harry's second week with the Weasleys, he decided to ask where she was. By this point, he had realized she was no longer a resident of the Weasley house, but he had not wanted to question it for fear of drawing attention to himself.

Harry had been completely silent at most meals, halfway listening to conversation, but never taking part. As a result, when he cleared his throat at the table that night, all eyes flew to look at him, as if expecting a grandiose speech. If that was the expectation, they were sorely disappointed when the quiet words that came from his lips simply formed a question of where Ginny had been.

Arthur gave him a calculating look before carefully telling him that Ginny had left to help with rebuilding the Ministry. To Harry, her moving on so quickly seemed like a slap in the face to him. He needed time to adjust and to figure out what was going on with his life. He was dealing with so much, but she just moved on and found something new to do. He felt so hopeless.

After dinner, he went back to his room and laid down on the bed. Tears started to roll down his face as hopelessness set in. Harry was considering what had happened in his life. When he was young, he was made fun of and bullied at school. Then he went to Hogwarts and finally belonged. He had friends, he fell in love. But then the war took that all away.

His confusion and stress about his future had driven away the few friends he had left. Now he could be losing Ginny too. At this point, Harry had gotten himself so depressed, confused, and angry, he had to know for sure. He wrote a letter to Ginny asking her to tell him how she felt about him now.

The letter that came back a day later said that she did not know, but she did know she did not want a relationship with him. She had more important things going on in her life. She had taken the time to think and she wasn't even sure that she was willing to begin their friendship again.

Harry fell further into depression as he felt his heart break. He loved her and would do anything for her, but she had turned him down. She did not want anything to do with with him.

For the following week, Harry went to bed wondering if things would be better if he were dead. Maybe if he had died during the war, his friends and Ginny would remember him and love the memory. Or maybe if he went outside and drowned in the lake now. Would Ginny hear of his death and come back. Would she care that he was gone? Drowning wouldn't be too bad. It wouldn't be messy. Just go for a swim and drink some of the water... but that wouldn't solve anything.

This was how most of his time was spent for an entire month. He transitioned between worrying about his future and about what his role in this new world would be and thinking about how badly he had screwed up with Ginny. 

He started to see less of the family, with people coming in late, leaving early, and eating whenever they were there. Family meals became scarce and Harry was able to take his meals to his room and avoid everyone else. It couldn't last though.

After a month of depression, Harry was sitting in his room thinking, when he heard the door open downstairs. He heard sounds of joy, followed by shouts of outrage. As the voices got louder, Harry recognized Ginny's voice and immediately ran down the stairs to greet her. But when he got down the stairs, he saw the entire household standing there with a mixture of anger and fear spread across their faces. Everyone was crowded around, Bill, Fleur, Charlie, Percy, George, Ron, Hermione, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. It was almost like a family reunion with everyone all together at once. Ginny seemed to be finishing a story as she looked around at all of them and solemly said, pack your bags as quickly as you can, we need to leave now.