Faith Can Save Black America

Forgiveness

Colossians 3:13 (NIV) says, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."From the moment you realize what you are doing may not be a solution to an issue, change your approach and try an alternative method. Forgiveness will set you free. We all fall short of God's glory at times; it's completely normal and for this reason there is grace that is a gift from God where he forgives us once we acknowledge that we were wrong and we surrender our problems to him. We shouldn't want to live in these cycles of constant anger and masking our emotions when deep inside we want our problems to end. It's not about who is right or wrong, it's more about coming clean before God.

Now if you know you have wronged a person or you could have said or done things better, don't be afraid to reach out to the individual and apologize. I know we live in a generation where this may not be as common, but don't let the trends of society deter you away from doing the right thing. The problem is everyone is full of pride and no one wants to take accountability anymore. We immediately think "Why can't they come and apologize to me?" or we may feel as if we're "soft" if we do in fact apologize. But I want to let you know, those thoughts are the plans of the enemy to keep you in bondage of unforgiveness when God wants to bless you past the issues in your life that you have not yet surrendered over to him.

Once you get passed the point of dwelling on what others will say or the constant worry of looking "inferior" to those you are apologizing to, you'll realize it wasn't much of a problem to do so and also you'll learn it's necessary for self-growth. When you know you're doing the will of God, nothing will feel embarrassing if God says it should be done. We shouldn't want to live in a back-and-forth altercation where both parties involved are always bickering at each other or beating around the bush of the real issue. We should address the issue calmly and as soon as possible. Romans 12:18 (NIV) says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."Don't result to unforgiveness if you haven't at least tried to the fullest extent of positively making amends with one another.

Not only is it the right thing to do, but these are basic principles of human decency and characteristics of healthy communication in any form of a relationship. Yes, the anger and emotions will still be present, but don't let that get in the way of true deliverance from God. We must be slow to anger and that can't be accomplished by will power, but Christ must be within us to overcome our emotions when they seem to get the best of us. That's why it's important to live a faith-filled life because the closer your walk with Christ is, the easier it will be to obey his will for your life. There will be things that God may ask you to do that you may not be comfortable doing; It's unfamiliar to you, you never done it before. But if you are always doing what's comfortable, will you ever grow? Get passed what it may look like or how you may feel and do it in spite of because at the end of the day you have to answer to God and not man.

2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." What's a difficult moment to a lifestyle of relief and blessings waiting on the other side of forgiveness? In all honesty, it shouldn't even be a "difficult moment" or obstacle. We should normalize forgiving often and as soon as we realized we messed up. There is no point in being defensive and covering it up. Even if it requires you to be vulnerable during a particular moment in life, just do it because it will set you free. Nowadays, I don't entertain conversations that don't lead to prioritizing and solving the main issue at hand. Some people would rather drag you into an argument and talk about the little things that will never solve the issue but instead will open more room for conflict. Be wise, don't let the negative characteristics of another individual corrupt the ability for you to do what is right.

In Proverbs, the bible talks about there being the power of life and death in the tongue. That small but meaningful verse speaks volumes. As a child growing up, you may have heard the saying "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." It's very relevant because in the midst of anger and emotion, we may say things that could result in death to what was once an active relationship. We have to be selective with our tongue and choose words that will speak life over every situation no matter how it currently looks. If it helps don't say anything in a state of uneasiness. Take some time to self-reflect and re-approach the situation in a well-mannered way. 

It's important to know, forgiveness does not require re-connection. Yes, we should all forgive one another and be at peace with one another, but it does not mean we have to go back to the way things were. Whatever has been done should be left in the past. The sole reason for forgiveness is that both parties are blessed going forward in life. Now depending on the severity of the situation and the context of the relationship, one must make a choice and use their discretion if it is worth mending and to what extent. The reason why I address this is because God will deliver us from situations that may be hindering us from our purpose in life and for us to just go back to the environment, place, or person would just be a disservice to our calling.

There are ways to respectfully address this concern without feeling the need to re-connect. As I've said before, we must be wise we can't continually be submissive to things that are taking away from us, leaving us in bondage, and negatively impacting our character. We have to notice the red flags or the unpleasant but necessary indicators that will help us enable good judgement when it comes to the things that will affect the course of our lives. When there is conflict there is pressure on both parties involved to either solve it or avoid it. When there is pressure, whatever is said under pressure is what was in the heart of an individual all along.

That's why people say, pay close attention to what one may say or do when they are mad because that will show you who they really are. We all get upset at times, but it's all about how we respond in moments of anger. In earlier chapters I spoke about racism in America and the same principles apply. It's sad to say, but as African Americans we can't control what happens to us while being black in America but we can control our response to what is. Let faith be your response. Matthew 10:28 (NIV) says, "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the one who can destroy both soul and body in hell." 

I'm not saying accept what is happening to us, but while fighting for what is right we should also ensure our souls are right with God so in spite of life or death we will still be saved. The lack of forgiveness in this world has made many hearts cold when they shouldn't have to be. The only way to truly overcome this issue is to surrender your heart to the one that created you. The problem is many of us try to use other things to fill a void in our lives that will never give the same satisfaction of being healed and delivered by God. Forgive so that you can be blessed, set free, and renewed in Christ.