Try to Fix You (Cameron Dallas)

Part 10

(TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!)
~Christmas Eve~

Sarah and the new kid aren't back yet and I'm getting worried. planes could get hijacked or crash or... I don't know they secretly freak me out, even though I have gone on one millions of times.

I hear my phone buzz and I basically jump across the couch to get it.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hey Megan its Sarah. We are gonna be late due to storms so could you possibly put out the presents from my closet and cookies. We should be back by morning." She says in a whisper.

"Yes of course! Have a good flight." I say and hang up.

I get the presents from the closet and set them under the tree. After that I set out cookies and milk. I eat some of the cookies and drink some of the milk to make it look like Santa came.

Christmas was always so special to me, I want it to be special for who ever my new "sibling" is.

~flashback~

"I love you mom." I say on the verge of tears to the phone. It's Christmas Eve and my mom is stuck at work, it's the perfect situation for my dad to get super drunk.

I'm 13, sitting alone in my room scared to death that my dad is going to come upstairs.

I hear stomping coming up the steps, I quickly get under the covers and act like I'm sleeping, maybe he will leave if he thinks I'm sleeping.

My door swings open and I feel myself being thrown off the bed.

"GET THE HELL UP!" He yells.

I look up, everything is blurry. I see my dads figure walking up to me.

"YOU WORTHLESS SHIT!" He screams, beating me.

He picks me up and throws me at the wall.

"Please dad." I weakly whisper.

"I said please when I asked you to go to the store and get me more damn cigarettes but noooo. Little bitch." He slurs drunkly.

"I can't go get cigarettes I am to young." I regain my vision to see him hovered over me with one hand in a fist and the other picking up his beer bottle he set down to get another drink.

He looks at me for a moment.

I feel sharp pain in my head. The last thing I see is my dads face in shock and broken bottle glass in his hand before I blacked out.

We spent that Christmas in the hospital. My dad told my mom I fell down the steps carrying my moms Christmas present, a mirror. That's why I had glass in my head.

My mom sadly believed it and if I didn't want to get killed I couldn't tell her the truth.

My dad never stopped. It was never that bad but it went on for years.

~end of flashback~

I feel the salty tears stream down my face.

I feel the anger build up inside me.

Why didn't I leave? If I left my mom wouldn't be dead. It's all my fault.

I storm up the stairs and rush into my room.

I reach under my mattress and grab the small envelope. Reaching inside it I grab my old blade. I haven't used it in weeks.

I don't know why, but I miss it.

I quickly slice my skin with it feeling the blood on my skin as I let out a sigh. I continue crying.

It's all your fault, Megan. You bitch. Worthless shit. I hear in my head.

Cut after cut I finally put the blade back.

My anger still grows. I just fell like screaming. I put my head in my hands, not caring that I get blood all over my shirt.

I scream at the top of my lungs. I couldn't hold it in. I just feel so empty.

After a while of shaking rapidly and crying I fall asleep.