Explosion

Chapter 1

Hopefully I can update again soon... Schools starting up again soon so we'll see. Imma try to update a lot this weekend but idk how far I'll get, have a good week guys...

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"Ah!" I wake with a start at an ear piercing scream next to me.

"Honey, hon, baby, baby, shh. It's all ok, I'm right here," I whisper comfortingly in my boyfriend Coles ear. He gets night terrors frequently and I always have to wake up and comfort him afterward. That's why we moved in together after we started dating, with our parents consent of course. Once they understood how I comfort him they actually insisted that I move in with him. "What was it this time?" I ask slowly and carefully.

"I-I-I- I saw you die right in front of me!" He sobs into my side. I just rub his back with one hand and play with his hair with the other. I whisper comforting words to him as I stare into space.

I remember my moms stories about how you can tell when you meet the person you are meant to be with. She said you feel an unexplained pull towards them. Then when you get near them you feel at ease and calm. Almost as if a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. That's how Cole and I felt right off the bat. Of course, we didn't know what it meant at the time but I know that I instantly felt calm and safe near him. I didn't have to be right next to him or touching him in some way to feel safe. It's almost like an invisible barrier, if I'm within a 5-10 feet radius then I feel better and safer. The levels of how safe I feel varies on how close to him I am. Within 10-8 feet, I feel slightly better but there's not much improvement. 7-5 feet I feel safer than usually and these a significant difference in how much pressure I feel. 4-2 feet I feel really good and secure, most likely a normal girls security when they hug a boy that's taller than them. 1 or less feet there is no words to describe how happy and safe I feel. I feel confident, like I can take on the world. Though every time he leans in for a small kiss on the cheek or my forehead I can tell that he's not only my partner in crime, he's the boy that I will gladly be with for the rest of my life. I get butterflies in my stomach and I feel a nervous blush creep onto my cheeks. Every. Single. Time.

I can't ever imagine how I got along with my ex. Ugh... just his name irritates me. Tyler... Tyler Greene. Looking back I realize how completely different Cole and Tyler are. Tyler had light brown hair with almost blonde streaks. He was about my height and he was very shy. He didn't talk much and he was rather self conscious. He wasn't very confident but he faked it and I guess that's what I liked at the time. He had mostly friends that are girls and it kinda bothered me but I thought it was fine. Cole is about 3-4 inches taller than me with dark brown hair and glasses. Tyler and Cole had similar glasses, square rimmed, kind of large. The large rims were too big for Tyler's face but they worked for Cole. Cole has a light peppering of freckles across his face along with disproportionate ears. He has, I like to call, "midget ears." Tyler also wasn't involved in any sports except dance, and he wasn't even the least bit interested in any other sports. That was totally fine with me until he showed no interest in my soccer and basketball events or my brothers baseball games. He didn't even enjoy some outdoor activities like fishing. Cole personally plays hockey and baseball and he shows a lot of understanding and interest in most other sports such as basketball and football. Cole is also way more open and understanding than Tyler ever was so we tell each other everything.

I'm not sure how I ever got along with Tyler, I'm not even sure if I actually liked him as more than a friend. I felt bad turning him down because I felt like we woudn't be friends if I turned him down. We ended up not being friends anyway because he hated me after I broke up with him. He even went as far as to spread rumors and attempt to turn my friends against me. I can handle the names brat, idiot, greedy b****, and selfish brat. When he tried to turn one of my closest friends against me by dating her and lying to her I hated him for it. I was always forced to explain to her at soccer practice about how he was lying about this and lying about that. eve through it all I probably could have forgiven him if he just apologized.

I was always very forgiving of him. I stood by with arms open, ready to forgive him and hopefully become friends but he turned his back to me every time. The name calling was one sided. Every name was a small slap to the face and I took it on the chin with the help of my friends. Every rumor, I had my friends help me be strong and deal with the lies and fake stories. When he finally started to terrorize me online by discreet signs, like tagging me in a rude photo on a large Instagram site and saying it reminded him of me I gave up on him. I could have forgiven him before, I understand that he might have been mad about the breakup and he didn't know any other way to deal with the hurt but I finally realized that he wasn't looking for what I was offering him so I cut myself off. I moved on. I feel like he made me feel as if he had broken up with me because of the torture he put me through over the next few months. I deleted the pictures, moved on from the memories, and responded to anything he threw at me. He blocked me? I blocked him back. His mother and friends hated me too so I just forgot about them and focused on my own life. I refused to let him taint my views on the world.

Just a few months ago Tyler reached out to me. He contacted me through Instagram saying that he wanted to become friends again and to come to speaking terms with each other. I obviously forgave him and we kind of became friends again so I guess it was all ok. I just pray that he won't mess with my current relationship, he has been showing signs of jealousy around school and online so I pray for hum to be fie with how I choose to live my life. Wait... what am I talking about? I don't need his approval for how I am choosing to live, and what decisions I make to make me happy. Oh my.... this will be hard.

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The song (on the side or above) is Something Big by Shawn Mendes and I'm kinda in love with it so yeah enjoy your week and hopefully I'll update again soon...