Explosion

Chapter 4

As I'm on my run I think about my mom. It's safe to say that she consumes my thoughts as I run around my small town. As I run I try to distract myself with different tasks. First I think about Cole and my relantionship with him, but that all leads back to my dad and those memories. Then, I notice how many chapels there are in my little town, so I start counting them. Then, in between the chapels, I would think about my mom and how she used to take Theo and I to church at any possible moment. I slowly stop after an hour long jog and lean against an older school. In fact, it's my old elementary school, Mill Road. <Mill Road Pride!!! Woo!Woo!Woo!> I walk solemnly through the ancint playground and cry happily at the memories. Chipping my tooth on that ladder to the slides. Jumping up the fireman poles to reach the platform. Pretending that we were on tight ropes as we walked along the wooden edges of the playground. Sliding on ice from puddles left on the old basketball courts, Basketballs getting stuck in the rusy old nets of the basketball hoops. Alex M. hugging the same tree, day after day. Playing kickball with those old painted lines that nobody could ever fully see. Playing volleyball during gym. All of these memories came flooding back into my system and I eventually sat down on an old bench and sobbed. My body heaved up and down with sobs that wracked my whole body.

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A few hours later only a few single tears fall across my face. I suddenly feel my phone vibrate in my pocket of my shorts. I swipe the screen without looking at caller I.D. "Hello?" I answer automatically.

"Hi honey!" the person on the other end says exstatically. I feel like I recognize the voice on the other end. I try to place it by placing faces and names in my head. "How have you been?" they continue. It's then that I realize who it is.

"Mom?" I choke out through my tears.

"Hi Abigail," she says. To my horror I read the area code from her number and realize that it is from my little town.

"Um... mom, why d-d-did you call? Where are you?" I finish my sentence spitefully. If I find out that she has been this close all my life, I might punch something.

"I can't just call to check up on my daughter when I see that she's crying at her old school?" With that one sentence I get the answers to my questions. Terrified but excited at the same time, I jump to my feet and whip my head in all directions. As I turn to my left, towards our old house, I see her standing there. Something doesn't seem right though. She smiles but it's uneven and forced. Then, after looking up and down her body I settle on her eyes to find a look of terror there. I turn to look over my shoulder and see my wonderful boyfriend Cole at my back. I hadn't even noticed that his arm was snaked aroung my waist until this moment. I see my mom start to leave but I simply can not let her leave me here again.

"Mom! No!" I yell frantically. She stops and look back at me, skimming her eyes over me before resting her gaze on my face and the tears running down it. She looks at me quizically. "Please," I plead, "Don't leave me again," I sob out. She turns back, emotionless. I can't stand her walking away again so I rush out of Cole's grasp and sprint to her side. I come to a stop right in front of her so she can't continue to walk away. I grab her shoulders in my hands and hold her where she is, "I can't just let you walk away again," I whisper to her, hoping that she understands how much I need her to stay.

"Honey, I can't stay here. You know that," she says, showing no emotion. I hate her for what she did to me and I would let her walk away but this might be my last chance to ever talk to my mother.

"Why not!" I scream. At this point I realize that I am going ballistic. "Why? Why would you come back and only stay to look at me cry and watch me burn! Ugh! I hate you so much! Why would you do this? You can't just come into my life for a few minutes and then leave again! That is incredibly rude and shallow, I would never be that cruel. I don't even think my own father would do that! You know how horrible he is and he wouldn't do that to his kids! Either you stay this time, or I will never forgive you. If you think I'm joking, I'm not. If you walk out on me as Theo I will never let you back into my life again. Take that into consideration before you run off and desert me again," I finish my rant. I run back to Cole and we start to walk away.

"Wait. Abby, please come back. I want to stay but I don't know if I can handle it. With this comes emotional ties and I tend to cut them every time. I also don't know if I can handle coming into your lives at this point," she says sadly.

"Mom, it's fine. All of my friends will love you and I really want you to stick around to meet them. I want you in my life and I'm sure Theo will too. We have missed you for all this time and now that you're here... We want you to take part in our life," I say genuinely. I want her to meet everybody and create emotional bonds with them so that she can't leave next time. I hope that she understands and sticks around.

"I don't have anywhere to stay," she says. Immediately I offer up a place in our little apartment. "Sure! Sounds great! Now I can get closer to you," she leans in and whispers the next part, "and I can meet that cute boy over there," she says throwing a wink my way.

We decided that she was gonna start moving in tomorrow. Oh, this should be interesting.