My life that sucks a lot

Chapter Four

Hey umm i know i dont update this ever but i just thought i could het this off my chest. My little

brother is 6. He was adopted just like me. The thing is that he has a lot more problems than me.

He has anger issues, anxiety, ADHD/ADD, and probably others. He was going to the elementary

school that i was but it really wasnt working. He isnt like all the rich white kids there. He yells and

hits and screams and threatens and doesnt do what he is supposed to. He is way behind all the

other kids in his class and isnt getting what he needs to learn. So now he is going to a different

school... It is really hard to watch my brother fall apart and scream and cry and hit and yell how

he hates the new school and he is never going there. I wanted to cry but i have to be strong for my

mom, she has taken this so hard and i can understand why but i wish it wasnt that hard. And it

doesnt help that i am silently struggling on my own and have my own anger issues. I wish that my

brother could live easier and i wish that mu family could be happy and normal but there is no

normal. Im tired of this. I have broken down more than once but i havent told my parents or

therapist, i cant do that to my family. My mom keeps telling me that i should talk to her if im not

okay but i would never actually tell her how not okay i am. I have problems with having people in

my life that like me, i know it sounds really stupid but i get depressed because i am lonely but then

if a boy i like likes me back i push him away. I dont want anyone to be affected if one day im not

here anymore and thats horrible but its the truth. I cant do this on my own but i dont want anyone

to have to go through this with me. My brother is so bi-polar i cant even explain. Its maybe twenty

minutes since he was screaming and crying and now he is all happy and skipping around eating

ice cream. Its so hard to watch him and i hope that monday will not be as bad as it will be because

our family cant take that, my mom cannot take it, and then she is going to lash out on me and i

cannot take that. I am too soon going to fall apart and im lost as to what to do. So yeah thats my

life at the moment. Oh did i mention i am procrastinating again? Yeah that devil is back making

my anxieties come back. Im freshly fucked and im not enjoying it. Got my driving permit and i

actually like driving! But yeah so my life sucks and i probably wont update anytime soon but

thanks for reading this if you did. I kind of feel better...

Byyeee