A Miracle Unexpected

Chapter 4 - It'll be okay

Damon's P.O.V.

I left Judgey's house as fast as I could. Elena had driven me there, so I had no car. The only option I had left was to run back to the Boarding House. That, however, was the last thing I wanted to do. If I went to the Boarding House, I would see my brooding brother. If I saw my brooding brother, I would have to deal with him. Instead of going there, I ran into the woods and headed to the ruins of our old house.

I sat down in the ground and looked out into the darkness. My phone rested in my hand. I had two missed calls from Elena. Besides the calls, I had a number of text messages from her. I read them one by one.

Where did you go?

Damon talk to me.

I'm worried about you.

The last one I read got to me. As I read it, I had to take a deep breath.

Damon it'll be okay. We'll get through this together.

Would we? Did she mean it? Or was she just trying to make me feel better?

Elena wasn't supposed to get pregnant. She was supposed to forget about that night we spent together in December. That's how she wanted it to be. Now Elena would never forget about that night. I should have noticed what that woman was. I should have noticed she poured the potion into my drink. This was entirely my fault.

I tugged on my hair and leaned my elbows on my kneecaps, letting out a shattering scream. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I was a monster. How could someone like me be a Father? I wouldn't be able to do it. I'd turn out just like my Father, but even worse.

What if there was something wrong with the baby? Would it be born half vampire like that baby from the Twilight series? Just thinking of that made me cringe. What if something happened to Elena? I would never be able to live with that.

I love Elena Gilbert. I love every single thing about her. Besides Alaric, she is the only friend that I have here in Mystic Falls but at the same time she is so much more than a friend to me. She is beautiful, inside and out. Despite all I had done to her, to her friends, and to her family, she still managed to find it in her heart to forgive me. Let's face it; people like myself should never be forgiven. Elena forgave me, though. She doesn't look at me as if I was a coldblooded killer. She looks at me as if I was human. She makes me feel human.

If Elena was going to die because of my baby, I would step out into the sunlight and take my own life. A life without Elena was not worth living, especially if I took some part in her death. I couldn't live without her. I don't know how I ever did.

I stood up and began to walk back to the Boarding House. I walked slowly. I still didn't want to deal with Stefan. Not only that but I couldn't look him in the eye. Stefan was my little brother. It was my job to protect him, a job that I've kept since the day he was born. It wasn't my job to hurt him. Katherine tore us apart and as if that weren't enough, fate threw Elena at us. I tried so damn hard not to fall in love with her. She made it too easy for me. Now Elena was pregnant with my baby while dating Stefan. It was going to kill him. I felt like shit.

I made it back to the Boarding House way too fast for my liking. I had nowhere else to go, though. I pushed the front door open and shut it behind me, heading straight to my bottle of bourbon. I poured myself a glass and drank it slowly. I heard Stefan open his bedroom door and come downstairs.

"Hey," he said to me.

I kept my eyes on the fire as I said hello back to him. I couldn't look at him. The guilt was too much.

"You seem off," Stefan observed. He sat down on the couch and I could feel him looking at me.

"Me? I feel great," I lied. I took another sip from glass.

"I don't believe you, but if you don't want to talk, fine," he gave up quickly on trying to figure out what was wrong with me. As always, he switched the subject to Elena. "Have you talked to Elena today?"

"Nope. I haven't spoken to her."

I looked over at Stefan and saw him frown. I finished the rest of the bourbon in my glass before pouring myself some more.

"I'm worried, Damon."

I tilted my head at him, asking him to explain why he was worried.

"Elena seems off. Today at lunch she ran out of the cafeteria. She hasn't been talking to me. I offered her a ride home after school, but she said no, and she just disappeared. I can't figure out what's wrong with her, Damon, and it's bothering me so much. I know you guys are friends and I thought she might have said something to you."

"Nope. Sorry, little bro. Elena has said nothing to me," I lied again. I turned around and faced my back towards him. I was feeling more and more guilty with every word that came out of my mouth. This wasn't like me, but I knew I fucked up really bad this time. Stefan didn't deserve this. It should be his baby that Elena was having, not mine.

As if he didn't say enough to make me feel like shit, Stefan kept talking. He said in a whisper, "I'm afraid of losing her. I can't lose her, Damon. I love Elena."

I couldn't say anything to that. I closed my eyes and silently wished for him to leave the room. I got my wish a few minutes later. I heard Stefan stand up from the couch, but still didn't turn around.

"I'm going to go give her a call and then get some sleep. Good night, Damon," Stefan left the room and I listened to his footsteps on the stairs. I heard his door close and soon I heard Elena's voice coming from his phone.

Just hearing her voice pushed me over the edge. I dropped my glass to the ground and practically flew out of the house. I needed blood and tonight, the bags wouldn't cut it.