The naked me. (Completed)

20. "The Naked Me."

The Naked Me
Is simply a combination of my experiences, thoughts and whatever my incredible mind decides to tackle. Fighting with my restless, creative mind has been a battle I seem to lose whenever I try.

Revealing myself to world, was and still is the hardest thing to do. I am the reason why my life is a complete turnover. I promised myself to be honest with how I feel. Not only to the people around me but me as the victim. I can't say that no one bullied me cause that surely happened multiple times. When it happened I only thought that people were just being their bitter selves. After a long research for a school assignment. Only then I realized that I was bullied. Thinking that I would overcome all that, know that I knew about it, was a lie.

Growing up as a child, most moments were enjoyable but others were just a cover up from the real events. Never believed in fantasies until I realised that I lived in one. Saw the knife filled with blood of my own until they snapped me out of my thought's. A twelve year old saying that her wish was to have never existed. Her parent's questioned her wish and little did she know that her imagination was playing game's on them.

Being a teenager and the hormones playing around with your little mind. Well it is not hard to move around the place until, you get out to see how big the environment is. A tour is what i took till i got lost. Losing the way back home, where my mind rests was the tragic thing that had happened. The car crash revealed a whole lot more after that. Smile's and stupid joke's got me this face mask I'm constantly wearing.

A complete stranger I felt to myself. A full time care worker helping mom and brother around was what I wanted to centre my life around. Going to the library for the foreign environment, my love for words grew, giving me the drive i needed to create a whole new world for me. Taking another turn in life but it was a good turn though. My heart was beaten multiple time's by my emotion's. I'd trade it all for a perfect life but I guess the exam was what mattered most.

Crying wasn't a hobby but it surely felt so, no one but the unconscious pillows held all of them in. Just like how I held everything in. From being emotionally abused about my uncertain sexuality. I discovered that I like those, who were like me most -but had another side that prefers the society's norm. Had plenty of sign's but i had to hide those too. It started as a normal hug in fifth grade, a while after I received my very first phone. I had called her but not regularly until she changed school's and a phone number was also one of those change's.

Highschool revealed everything to my tiny mind. I felt free and accepted until talking about it brought back past traumas making me lose everyone's trust. Threatened by those whom I thought valued me as much as I did. Standing there made me feel less of a human. Once again crawling back to my pit of shame, i lied about my feeling's. Breaking my promise. Abusing me emotionally was what I had to face whenever I let the colour's of my heart reveal to the world who I actually am.
My tongue was somehow tired of trying to make everyone understand. Rather I let my pen spell it out for you.

- Sincerely:
The Naked Me.

(I still have to edit the poems, but I hope you enjoyed them though.😅)