Hardly, Heart, Hard Mix

Hardly Flows 🎭☯️

I love deeply, doubts worry me. Is this love or just another fling that turns into waste? I question daily. Some days we talk and flow other days we can hear a pin drop & a ear full of "Z" . I question, Am I enough for your pleasures or am I the only entertaining option to you? Deep thoughts,  I fight the love I have for you the doubts never silence nor is the temptation that can be anywhere around. I want the love with the white picket fence that will protect the peace & happiness with the minis to go around the precious time with a unbreakable bond. I fight this doubts because I love you but am I loving you more than the return or just not enough it's weights out the two. My body craves you, undeniably ,  my heart tripples just the thought of you bring laughter to my soul, even the long conversations late at night when it's just us up tripping over the wrongs and some more, always enjoyable. I love you, we may not see eye to eye but I don't choose my doubts, many say you get hurt when you use your heart but something tells me others wise about you. Is it me? I never felt love beside hard/careless love by the others, never was a fitness size to attract them .  New experience ? yes, it is. My trust issue get out of hand, overthinking remains brokenness & too this generation sides janks, sneaky link, unpredictable toxic shit is a vibe. Is it all because I'm afraid to actually be love by one ☝🏾 & actually believe only one, they say trust nobody but the mood swings are hard to really place or put in order, just a certain set of words can trigger from good to worst in spark fo a second. Communication works both ways but I shut out before I can allow any to attack my vulnerabilities, I hide and shield with not a second thought. The scenarios of heart breaks make the heart shut black and shift the vibes unexpectedly. I don't understand? Neither do I . The sick battle between your heart and your overthinking thoughts can run the good away and bring on the bad. Choose wisely, I say confusingly. I still stay and not let the bad out weight the good times but the vibe speaks and I flow and enjoy the time until it timeless.
Just guide me right, never mislead me  on every would you speak let it be factual no matter what. The flow unpredictable, I still risk to stay with you.