Short Storys

HuNk

I feel like I'm sitting on a throne all the way up here, looking down on all these peasant commoners. I guess it could also, more appropriately, be that I have to protect all these people that trust in my authority and judgment. Although, I think my imagination took sitting on a boring lifeguard tower a little too far, then again what are you supposed to do other than be a creeper looking at all these half naked people just waiting for them to drown. It's not all boring though, there is this group of people that have a big speaker and keep blasting my baby Beyonce, even some of her older and less appropriate songs but I really don't care. I couldn't say it's the same with parents here though.
Getting on with my internal monologue I really need an Ice cream truck to come and like crash into the beach. Of course not hurting anybody or anything like that, it would just create more work for me, but since it's still my shift up here I can't really go anywhere. That means I need everything to come to me, the bathroom being an exception because who wants to see a strange liquid run down the side of wood structure. Not me that's who's . Within that topic
" Ramen can you go get me some ice cream!" His name's not actually like ramen noodles but it's the only thing I do that can make his straight face twitch, even if it's not for a positive reason."My name is Romen not a food, and no." He said in his, as usual, flat and blunt way. " Oh come on.. You haven't taken your break yet and I really want some. Ah, and I'll actually pay you back this time!"
"No."
" You're gonna have to go to the bathroom at some point why not just get me an ice cream on the way? I don't see what the big deal is. We're friends right?"
" One, we are not friends. And two, knowing your luck you're probably gonna drop it on me." Well I guess I'll have to wait another hour till I ca- wait, what's that I hear in the distance? Or not so distant. "OMGosh Ramen! The ice cream heard my prayers and it's coming to meeeee!"
sccceeerrrrrttttt! Ah sh*t, my wish coming true just caused me even more work. " Kia this is the third time this month." Three, two, one... twitch. The all so satisfying eyebrow twitch of anger. "Well, if you had just gotten me an ice cream maybe the universe wouldn't not like you so much and like me so much more."
"You realize you still aren't allowed to get off your post unless there is an emergency." A small almost miniscule smirk of satisfaction came across his stupid, overly handsome face. "Wow two faces in one day, should I feel hon- Holy Sh*t Ramen! Look at that HUNK over there!" Hah, luckily I know my little buff noodle's one weakness. Hot boys, and the moment his head looks to the thiccc, juicy, hunk of wood that was just floating by, I'm off. "HUnk oF WooD SUckEr!!!"

Present Time

"Ms.Jay I asked why I should keep you as a lifeguard, not the actual reason of what happens at the third ice cream truck incident since I hired you." Ugh, if I had known that I wouldn't have just practically fired myself. Sh*t. "Oh, um, well, ah! I'm a great asset, I have nearly perfect vision, and I- um. I can swim! Oh, I'm also the only joy in Rame- Romens life. Really you should see how miserable he is. And he has this huge obsession with hunks of wood. One time I just kinda mentioned one I saw floating by and he went crazy." Honestly I think that was the best speech I've ever given, I deserve a double scoop of pumpkin spice latte, double shot espresso, one charrie ice cream with a mountain of sprinkles. " Well okay Ms. Jay I'll give you one last last chance, how about we make a deal. I will give you one last chance to prove your not completely incompetent, and in return if you mess up again your fired. Deal?"
"Yes! Thank you, I'm definitely not going to waste this chan-" And right as I was about to, once again have my job, a giant f*c*ing pumpkin spice cream latte, double shot espresso, one charrie ice cream with a mountain of sprinkles came through the roof. But apparently the universe thought they were going to have some more fun with my life, the ice cream landed perfectly on Mr. Bosses freshly shined bald head. Whipping the sprinkles from his lap he finally said, what I knew was coming, but just really didn't want to hear. "Kia I think this goes without saying, you're fired." Fudgesicles.