The Sleeping Siren (Jotaro X Reader)

Ch. 26: Snap

   The decision was difficult but necessary, I gave the hospital my parents numbers. They asked to speak to me and they yelled and said they'll buy me a ticket home, I don't think they want to bother flying all the way to Texas to watch a nurse put medicine on me for a few months.
   When I'm off the phone with my parents I press my eyes shut to numb my headache. I'm a disgrace, right as they began to trust that I was stabilizing myself I run away. I wish I could explain to them why, why I needed to protect them this way. Dio and his men are merciless and would probably kill to have me delivered to Dio. I think about all the kid things I missed out on because I was selfish and caught up in myself. When I was 10 I had this group of friends who dared me to pull pranks because my planning was so precise, it wasn't until I put deer piss in the vents that they disassociated from me. I remember the teachers evacuating everyone from the school and I laughed so hard the whole way out because I thought my band of friends would laugh too until they decided they never met me in their life when the principal confronted me. These friends had set me up. It wasn't their first times of course, like how I had this crush and they told him I was insane, or like how I came to school with cupcakes I baked and they gave them to other kids saying they made it for them, but when they left me that was the worst and I think that was the moment I realized that no one had my intrest the way I had theirs.
   "Can I get Advil?" I ask the question to the nurse out of the blue, my head hurts from stress and I don't want to see my parents, even my parents don't have my intrest to heart and they just want me to function in society like a normal person.
   She's fixing some things together when I ask her, "yes! Of course I can," she says. I was transferred to a hospital after giving me scans and putting me through test. The nurse reaches into a cabinet and pulls the bottle out, "parents can be difficult," she says and put two pills on a tray for me next to a bottle of water.
   I thank her and pull down my medical mask to take the pills, I'm so used to the masks that I almost forget about them sometimes. I sigh before drinking down the Advil and putting down my water, "it's tiring when it's the same thing they scold you about twenty four seven," I say.
   She snorts out a chuckle, nothing like the judgemental and unapologetic snort  from that cowboy I met, it's kind and warm and relatable, "yes, very much so, my parents would always say I needed to be skinnier or smarter or more this or that, but, never mind that," she says before making her way out, "my name is Rajah if you need anything sweety," and she walks out. I wish she could have stayed and talked, but I think that'd be inappropriate, she's a nurse not a therapist, but I think she needed to talk too.

     I think two weeks pass. No one comes to see me. No stand users, no spw foundation, no crusaders, and not my parents, only the same nurses, the same doctors, the same ointments, and the same depressed headache.
   Sometimes I'd watch the TV, sometimes I'd stare at the ceiling, but for the first time since I've gotten here they said I can go for strolls. I'm in the garden where I take off my medical mask, no cameras watch me, no people are near, and I'm by myself with my stand.
   Stand. I chuckle to myself, I don't even have a name for her. She's massaging my shoulders when I ask her, "do you have a name?" It's the first time I've talked to her in a month I think, but I lost track of time.
   Of course she doesn't reply. So I think of one, "well, we should give you something badass like..." I think of all my favorite songs, "like... like Viva la Vida?" By Coldplay. No, that's kinda weird, "or, what about, ugh, 505?" By Artic Monkeys. "No, you should have a name that is based from your ability, don't you think?"
   She still doesn't reply, but I pretend she agrees, "well, you allow me to fluently speak in different languages and understand them," I think about it before chuckling to myself, "what about, get this, Mr. Worldwide?" I laugh vigorously to myself because of the joke and have to wipe away a tear, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
   I slide down into the grass so that my head is now in her crossed lap and I look up at her and I think. She's so beautiful with her blue flaming hair and her vengeful dark eyes yet so gentle with her blue and white like a mercenary- no, though that'd make a great name it doesn't suit her ability to understand people and break them, but I don't even know how to use that ability.
   I stand up to tell her my thoughts and she follows me with her eyes, "Instead of a name for you, we should take this time to figure out how to use your ability," I say and she stands.

     Three days pass. No visitors. I've been spending my daylight with my stand in the garden trying to focus my ability and only go to my room for food or when it's time for my ointments.
   I'm sweaty and exhausted and irritated when punch a tree before sitting down in the grass. My knucklesare burning becauseof the bark I punched but it feels better that to solely be angry. This is our fifth hour today and we haven't gotten anything, agian. I take my water and gulp it down before tossing it into the trash. Why isn't this working? Why can't my stand just tell me how to use her?
   I look at her before cracking my neck, "aren't you tired?" I ask with an attitude and of course she doesn't reply. I sigh because of her lack of words and pat the grass to my right and she sits down next to me.
   I think to myself. Last time I was able to do this I did it to protect the crusaders. Jotaro. Jotaro. I lied to him, he trusted me, he wanted to be there for me, and I lied in his face. Now, I can't apologize to him, maybe I'll never see him agian. My tears form and my lip trembles and I don't want to cry, not over this, not because I was a dumb coward, but I do cry. I cry anyway. I miss him, I miss the way he treated me like a person and not like the emotional wreck I am, he didn't see my breakdowns as who I was but rather what I was experiencing and always helped me through them, but what have I ever done for him? I sob into my arms and knees, I did this to myself, I always let my emotions get to me and now I'll never see my friends agian, but that's how karma works isn't it?
   In one swift moment my stand stands up and gives me her hand to help me up aswell. We have to practice now? I want to stand but my body objects, maybe I should just cry it out then we can practice. If my stand could make noise I'm sure she would have groaned when she hauled me up to stand and hugged me, as if to say my feelings were valid but shouldn't be stressed on. I should practice, right now I'm voulnerble in this hospital, any one could attack me. Despite everything I wipe away my tears and decide to practice agian, I can cry about how stupid I was to Jotaro any day any time, but what good will it do me if an enemy  stand user is attacking me and I'm uncoordinated with my own stand?
   I breathe in and exhale when my stand let's me go. How did I feel the day my stand crushed another? Protective, angry, disappointed. I felt that I was going to lose them. Inside me those feeling manifest in my gut. This time I did lose them, and what can I do about it?
   Something inside me breaks like a light stick being snapped and the world stops. I can feel so much, I can feel to boiling anger and the bone shattering sadness inside me, the bodies of others, none of them are stand users... except for one.