To All The Boys I've Loved Before

Entry #1 - Dear Kuya Library,

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To Mr. THG,

         

          I am writing this letter to you kasi wala lang. . .Haha biro lang! I actually don't know how to start uhmm but let me tell you a story.

           Once a upon a time. . . Haha seryoso to! Game! Isang araw nakaupo ang isang babae sa library, wala lang normal day walang bago, puro students dun. Well, that was she thought. She was silently enjoying the music coming from her phone, obviously nakasuot ang earphones niya. Yun nga then she accidentally looked at the front and there she saw a guy sitting three blocks away from her table. Apparently, mag-isa lang din si Kuya and to her surprise eh nakasuot din ito ng earphones. What surprises her more is nang nagkatinginan sila ni Kuya.

              

              It's like a stare off game, walang gustong bumitiw sa eye contact , heto sila magkatapatan ng upuan sa library, they don't know each other, and they're both wearing earphones. Parang may sarili silang mundo with that kind of staring.

Pero umiwas si Ate ng tingin. Nahiya kasi siya bigla! Plus she didn't even knew the guy?! Bakit siya nakipagtitigan ng ganun? But there was this unexplainable feeling inside her that she can't utter. She was lost. Lost in his eyes.

Then days passed she started to like Kuya Library (that's what she call him since hindi alam ang pangalan) and no it didn't just happened na bigla niyang gustuhan si Kuya Library, patagal ng patagal pag aksidenteng nakakasalubong niya ito sa hallway hindi niya maipaliwanag ang saya at kilig na nararamdaman niya. She keeps on feeling those stupid butterflies in her stomach, akala niya echos lang yun ng mga babae pag kinikilig pero napatunayan niyang totoo pala.

And she knew right at that moment, na may crush siya kay Kuya Library.

She tried to know the guy's name pero hindi talaga niya kilala plus hindi sila parehas ng course so what she did, she stalked the fb profile of her terror prof in bio. Alam kasi niyang lahat ng students nito ay friend nito sa fb and she thought "Parehas kaming may bio subject di ba?" then ayun inisa isa lang naman niya ang mukha ng friend's list ng prof niya, talking about persistency here! Kahit na masakit na ang mata niyang tumingin sa screen eh pinilit niya itong hanapin, until she saw a familiar face.

Sabi na nga eh "Kung walang tiyaga, walang nilaga!". Victory was written all over her face and excitement filled her system as she clicked Kuya Library's profile.

Ayun. Napatulala ng lang ng bongga ang Ate mo, feeding her curious mind all the things about that guy. Starting from his name, family, friends, wall posts, profile picture, and other stuff. But then she was contented by that, she didn't even add him up for a friend request.

Because she's scared. Scared to be rejected, scared to know the guy more, scared of the thought that she would fall for him harder when the fact is . .Kuya Library was totally out of her league.

Advance kasi mag-isip si Ate, wala pa mang nangyayari pinangungunahan na. She just admired him from afar.

Then another encounter came. This time mas intense!

She was in front of her locker kasi kukunin niya yung libro niya for their next class. Little did she knew andoon pala si Kuya Library kasama ang friend nitong medyo chubby, just nine lockers away from her.

Busy siya sa locker niya kaya hindi niya napansin pero sabi nga nila "Pag may nakatingin sayo mararamdaman mo yun". Napalingon si Ate sa gilid niya only to see Kuya Library looking at her intently.

Swear! That was the longest 10 seconds of her life! And yes, nagkatinginan na naman silang dalawa. Mata sa mata! Eyeballs sa eyeballs! Cornea sa Cornea! And again. It was Ate who looked away. Hindi niya kasi kineri si Kuya! Hindi niya ma-take na nasa isang lugar sila and now she's sure na sa kanya talaga nakatingin! Minsan kasi iniisip niya . . .

"Asumera ba ko?"/ "Duling ba ko? Baka naman kasi hindi talaga sa akin nakatingin?" pero imposible na na hindi sa kanya nakatingin si Kuya dahil tatlo lang silang nandun. Siya, si Kuya Library at ang guy friend nitong medyo chubby. And she even looked at her back para icheck kung may tao sa likod pero wala!

Pero negativity strikes her again, "Why the hell he would notice me?" and with shaky hands she closed her locker kahit alam niyang nakatingin pa rin si Kuya!  At mabilis siyang naglakad patalikod dito.

Stupid isn't she? Pwedeng pwede na niya ngitian si Kuya Library pero sinayang na naman niya ang pagkakataon! Pero kahit nagkatinginan lang sila that made her really happy.

To cut the story short marami pa silang naging encounter ni Kuya pero simpleng salubungan lang sa hallway, sa mga program sa school, ganun. In the end Ate chooses to move on, wala naman kasing mangyayari if she keep on liking the guy. Kahit na single siya at single si Kuya may mga bagay talagang hindi meant to be kahit ilang beses niya pang ipagdasal kay Lord.

Maybe she is bound to meet Kuya Library, she is bound to like him but Kuya Library isn't bound to know her.

She accepted na ganun talaga ang buhay, kahit na pwedeng pwede siyang magpakatapang at iadd man lang nito sa fb, o kaya naman banggain sa hallway kada magkakasalubong sila, or ngitian at huwag umiwas ng tingin.

Now pa-graduate na si Ate while si Kuya Library 2 years pa sa university dahil iba ang course nito.

And btw, Mr. THG. Yes, you are Kuya Library. And yes ako si Ate Library. Advance Happy Graduation to me! Nice to meet you and I just want you to know that I've been crushing on you since 2012. Yeah pero that was before okay na ko ngayon. I wrote this letter to say thank you at hindi para guluhin ang isip mo. I just want to thank you because you became my inspiration. So ayun, thank you ulit! Goodluck I know you'll be a successful Dentist someday!

              

                                    -CTL aka Ate Library

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I inhaled deeply bago ko ihulog ang letter ko sa locker niya, *exhale* Tomorrow is my graduation day but here I am at school sneaking a letter to my longtime crush. Akala ko ba move on na?

Napailing na lang ako sa sarili ko bago ako tumalikod sa locker niya, siguro next sem pa niya mababasa yung letter but that's fine kas---

"Miss!"

Agad akong napahinto sa paglalakad. Napalingon naman ako sa tumawag sa akin, and there I was.

A perfect epitome of bewildered.

Shocksssssss bakit siya nandito?!

-Fin.