The Terms of an Alpha ✔️

t w e n t y - f i v e

[dedicated to @arbie97 ]

"Do you remember the first time I patrolled on my own without either of you?"

"Hmm. It seems like just yesterday," Xavier sighed, looking back at Ender and Darius through the rear view mirror of the car.

"Yeah, I remember your father trying to secretly watch you behind your back. It was a big fight," Darius laughed. Both his dads were sometimes a little too overprotective, but Ender laughed at the irony. Xavier should have been happy Ender wanted to patrol alone, considering all the shifts he would pick up for Ender in the future when he partied a little too hard and ignored his responsibilities.

"I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I still don't see how it was such a big deal," Xavier said indignantly. Both Ender and Darius rolled their eyes.

"Yeah, well, I met Monica for the first time then," Ender admitted. Xavier inhaled a deep breath.

"E, that was what? Almost seven years ago?" Darius asked, bewildered. Ender nodded his head, but he didn't want to make eye contact with his parents. He could feel how hurt they were. Though he wasn't direct lying to them, he still hadn't been completely honest to his parents, and he hadn't been honest with them for a long time.

"Why didn't you tell us then?" Xavier questioned. Ender felt awful because he still barely could give them an answer- years later.

"Monica- She's- I..." Ender didn't know where to start. "Growing up, I used to think about my biological mom a lot." Through his peripheral vision, he could see Darius wince. Goddess, he really wasn't trying to hurt their feelings or insult their parenting. The truth was Ender had been so damn lucky Xavier and Darius took him in. Ender knew that, and he always knew that, but a foolish part of himself always wondered about his biological mom. "It's not like I thought I was lacking motherly love or something. I guess I was more just hurt someone left me like that when I was a vulnerable and innocent child. I would tell myself all these crazy stories, like she was a secret agent and she needed to keep my safe. Or... I don't know. Anything really was better than feeling like I was disposable. Fuck, I felt like garbage being thrown out. It's a weird feeling— not a good one."

"You know none of us think of you like that," Darius said, squeezing his hand.

"I know, and I felt bad even thinking about her when I lucked out with such a great life. I guess I was just young and naive. But then I met her, and I realized that all those stories I told myself were untrue. She did just abandon me because she didn't want me." Ender paused. "When I met her, she was looking for you guys."

"For us?" Xavier repeated, more to himself.

"I wish she did. I would've given her a piece of my mind," Darius mumbled.

"I think, well I actually know, she wanted money from you guys. Maybe, she would have threatened to take me back if you guys didn't give it. I don't really know." Xavier snorted.

"As if we would let that happen." Ender shook his head. He wasn't sure if Monica could legally have him back, but either way it didn't matter now because he was an adult.

"I should have known that, but she had a way of getting under my skin." Ender shuddered thinking back to their first encounter. "She made me feel insecure." His chest tightened. "I didn't want you guys to look at her and see me in the future. I didn't want you guys to think I was unfit to lead, or that it was in my blood."