FORCED

NEED not want

36 days~

"Jhope slow down ~ (moan)" you hugged him tightly, continuing to moan nonstop....

He didn't slow down, he only got faster.....and faster and faster.....

His pelvic finally released itself Inside of me.....
Taking it out as he lays nexts to me, breathing heavily near my ear....

"I knew I was gonna be pregnant.....there was no doubt about it.....~
There was no protection whatsoever, and I didn't have the pills.....

But I doubt he would care~
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Jhope kisses my hand...as he drags my body on top of him.....kissing my forehead....
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I tried my best....to not feel this revolting feeling around my chest....it was harder to breathe....I couldn't even swallow my own saliva....
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He was wanted something from me as I to him....
There was never love to begin with....
Maybe the touching, the kissing, the smiling that mislead believing it was love, which was never a thing....
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Jhope was never loved by his parents, he would go through mental, verbal and physical abuse, that caused him to be mentally unstable as he started to use these methods from his childhood onto other people. Cause he was taught.....whenever he made a mistake, whenever his parents wanted him to do something and told him to follow the rules....
It was always suffer and abuse, that's the only way he knew.....how to treat people....and to get what he wanted, it's through torture and discipline.

So when he approached me....wanting fun and having the desire to mess me up from day one...out of curiosity....turned into....something completely different....

Cause when I began to have feelings for him, and when he realised my actions towards him, such as smiling and the need to want to be with him 24/7....made him realise his plan to control and devour me was going great.....and now he was sure I would be blinded by him......but no~

He didn't want that anymore....cause he never wanted that smile to disappear that I only gave to him....fade away and never come back.....once I've found out the truth it was over and he would go back on forcing...his methods....to get me....

Cause that smile.....he never had in his whole entire life, that he wanted so badly from his parents, and only got disgusting words spoken from their tongues...

I was the type of person he wanted, that would love him for life....only I....would think about him and care for him like he needed from his mother....

But he never....ever had feelings for me, it was like a delusion stuck in his head.....that everything evolves around only him....and no one else is ever important....
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As for me......
I can't seem to let him go....it's more like obsession, cause he's the only one to touch my skin, and give me attention I've never had.....
The only person to approach me with a smile....
Even though it was fake....it was for me....

Why is it? that....both of us need each other....
And force ourselves to love each other when we really don't....

I really want him to die~
I want him killed~
I want to get him out of my memory.....cause even If I did leave him.....there is no one else that can replace him in my heart......

He took away my problems......but instead made my life hell.....

In a way....I'm also selfish.....for him and everything that he has given up till this point....

Right now~
All I feel is pleasure and being relieved from all my stress....because of this guy.....
That's why I careless~
How he is....
All I care is about myself.....
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You were completely broken....and so was jhope....
You both needed each other....cause it felt like no one else ever existed....as you hug him back in your sleep....."goodnight~"
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40 days~

Skhhhh~(the shower was on)

He picked me up by my thighs, placing me against the bathroom wall as he pleasures himself in pure bliss....banging deep inside of me as I moan out his name.....

There is nothing to be scared about.....
Everything seems perfect....~
I should've just accepted from the start....
Why did I resist?
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These thoughts run through your mind...completely forgetting about what he had done to you....that memory was slowly fading away....cause all you see in front of you was pleasure and joy.....
He was like a drug.....an addiction released inside your veins....

He licks my lips, giving me hickies as I hug his head, parting my lips....Craving for more "it feels great aaah~ (moan)" you were almost at your climax and so was he.....
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I've never enjoyed life....like I am now....
To the fullest....
Before it was his smile and kindness.....and now it's him....I want him to fuck me everyday like he does and I want him to give me everything I've ever wanted.....his wealth....his everything....I want to be a part of his life and live for the first time.....

I want to breathe~
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But by the time I realised my heart was dulled out and mind was gone totally blank for these 40 days....
Cause The shock and the pain I went through was formidable......

I only wanted to look front....I didn't want to look back(crying)
I didn't want to remember anything so I forgot about it......(crying)
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But you were completely dazed out....as if you were under a spell....

The truth is......
I was never happy~
No matter how much I forced myself onto him....it will never happen.............

I need him to disappear out of my life......that's when I will actually breathe.....again~

Realising I should've been grateful for my past and held myself together until graduation.....but I gave up......wanting a monster to deal with my pain and hardship~|~~

There is no one else to blame but me......
This obsession is my past.....not present....I hate this guy....~
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To be continued.......
The next chapter is the last chapter....
I hope u enjoyed this chapter....I want to express more feelings about the character....but it's really hard to....
I mean its really really difficult to put in emotion with words on the how the character is feeling....
So I hope it wasn't that confusing and I get the gesture....thx for reading💕💜❤️❤️💜