What The Heck I Gotta Do To Be With You (Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader)

Moving On

Although shock tore through every part of you, you ignored it and wrapped your arms around Evy, allowing her to cry into your shoulder again.

"Evy, I am so sorry," you said gently.

You thought that this was what you always wanted. To have them break up so that you could be with Lin. But you never wanted Evy to get hurt. You never wanted to cause her pain, that kind of sobbing-your-heart-out pain that she was obviously going through now, because of you.

"I swear I... I never wanted to hurt you, Evy. You're my best friend, and I love you. I'm so sorry."

She took a deep, unsteady breath, then pulled away from you. "I know," she said, hiccuping. "You always put me first in everything. Like that time we both liked that guy Josh in 8th grade and you set us up on a date. We ended up dating for two years, and you pretended you were fine with it." She let out a sad chuckle. "And I know you did that with Lin. But I didn't say anything, 'cause I knew you would deny it. But when I started to see how he looked at you, I..." She wiped at her eyes, smearing more makeup. "I just ignored it, hoping I was making it up, that I was just being paranoid, that there was no way my boyfriend had feelings for my best friend." She gave you a sidelong glance. "Obviously I was wrong."

Guilt filled you and stabbed at your chest. You felt your eyes fill with water just because of how horrible you felt. You quickly blinked away the tears before she could see. "Evy-"

"He never loved me, did he?" She said it more like a statement, and finally made eye contact with you.

"I... I don't- I don't know." You clenched your jaw.

Evy looked away again, water still falling from her eyes. "Well I know. He didn't." She looked down. "If I'm being honest, I don't think I loved him either."

It took you a moment to process what she said. "What?" Your mind was still buffering, trying to figure out how that could be possible. "But you-you proposed to him. You were going to marry him. How could you not love him?"

"I don't know." She sniffed loudly, and you passed her a tissue. She blew her nose before continuing. "I always had feelings for him, of course, I just never... loved him." Evy messed with her long hair. "I guess I was just happy. Happy to have found someone who I loved spending time with. And you know how badly I've always wanted to get married. It all kind of just... happened."

You were silent for a moment. "Evy, um, why did you... after what I told you, why did you come to me?"

She looked over with large, watery eyes. "You're my best friend," she said simply, before burying her face in your shoulder once again.

Evy stayed the night at your house, not wanting to be alone.

You made both of you pancakes the next morning, and as you were eating, you decided to bring up a question you had as carefully as possible. "Um, so, when Lin, you know, broke up with you, what did he say?"

Evy took a bite of her pancake. "He said that he loved being with me, but he wasn't in love with me, and he couldn't marry me without feeling that." She glanced at you. "He also told me what happened between you."

A pang went through your chest. "He- he did?"

She nodded, taking a sip of her coffee.

You waited for her to go on, but she just continued eating. "But you still... came over here?"

Evy shrugged. "Like I said, you're my best friend."