Chapter 1: The Slip Up

Chapter 10: I Do I Dont

Nicki looked Sb in complete shock. Her eyes watered and widened.

"Oh my God SB," Nicki paused " I really dont know what to say right now."

"Please say yes."Sb pleaded.

"I. . . I dont know right now"

Sb hung his head he knew Nicki was leaning more toward no.

"Right now I just dont think thats the best thing to do right now" Nicki said calmly

Sb sighed deeply "Alright well please tell me you will think about it."

Sb got up and headed to the door. "Please dont let another man replace me" Sb said trying to hide that shaking and crack in his voice from crying.

Sb left with tears rolling down his face. Nicki looked at the ring and tears rolled down her face. She looked at the ring and imagined all the good times they could have. She thought about the family she always dreamed of and starting it with him but she know not to think so hard about the future not even knowing the things about her present. Nicki grabbed her hair she couldnt think straight everything had been crumbling infront of her face. She felt like she was losing every part of her.

The advice she got from her mother was sounding better and better but she couldnt bring her self to do it. She would be letting down too many people if she threw away everything she worked for. She would also have been letting herself down. She was living the life she dreamed of but with the more money the problems. It was becoming too much for her to handle.

Nicki decided to pray. She got down on her knees and clamped her hands together with the tears still falling form her eyes.

"Lord I need you more now then I ever needed you before. I haven't been the best at sticking too what is expected of me but I'm not perfect, I need your help and you guidance before things get worst. God I'm asking that hear me amoung the loudest of loudest prayers. I know I'm being selfish but this is the first time I have thought about myself first before others. Im confused and I'm hurt and hurting people. I dont know what to do any more I am running out of options. I know with you I am not alone but lately I have been feeling like I have no path. Im lost without a direction. Lord please be my protection from myself and other forms of evil. Let your will be done. Show me there is a purpose for me in life."Nicki fell weak and sat in her knees. Tears rolled down her face. Her real hair dangled loosly on her shoulders. She stopped crying and remained calm for a few minutes. She got herself together and decided to get up and take some medicine. She had a headache from crying some bad. She got up and put her hair in bun and washed her face.

She decided to treat herself. She called her favorite spa to come and givc her a deluxe treatment. She deserved the ultimate pampering. Within 15 minutes it was a knock on the door. They came prepared with everything.

As they catered to Nicki she relaxed knowing that God would help her through her stress. She got a nice massage that released the physical tension built up in her body. Although her pedicure was done with her own dish washing liquid she enjoyed the blue sand. Stress was exiting every part of her at this very moment. She knew it wouldnt last long se she indulged in every moment of it.

The next morning Nicki woke up and decided to call Drake but he didnt answer. Nicki thought one night ov recovery would have been long enough but she was wrong and thought to him his time.

After all the stress related back to men Nicki decided to have a girls night. She invited Diamond and a few of her old friends to the house.

Nicki decided to call some strippers and had plenty of wine. The ladies enjoyed it very much they all had fun laughing at the strippers and laughing at the stories. Nicki's mind was in complete peace. Then her phone rang it was Sb. Even thoguh she was hesitant she answered the phone.