GLASS DOME | Ateez

04. I Hate You

Seonghwa's mother was an elderly woman with dementia. She didn't remember most of the things that happened in her life, but she remembered the hatred she had for the boy's father, her husband. This was still vivid in the old woman's memory.

Often, she mistook her own son for her husband. It was no different on that pleasant afternoon.

Not so pleasant for Seonghwa who took care of the elderly woman who kept on agitating and screaming. It was the end for the boy when the old woman threw a full geriatric diaper in his direction. The fluids flew across the floor and over Seonghwa's shirt.

Being a cleaning freak, he ran out of the room, leaving the rest of the work to the other helpers and nurses.

He took off his shirt with such force that he tore off all the buttons. There was a washbasin nearby and he practically threw himself into the tank, washing his chest and everything he thought was dirty. He rubbed his skin so hard that reddish welts appeared in place.

Finally he stuck his head under the tap, muffling his hearing. He didn't want to hear that woman's voice anymore, but he still couldn't abandon her.

The screams in your head were bewildered, but they were all like: I hate you, or you are crap, or your mother shouldn't have put a monster like you in the world. And what hurt most was: Why did you have to make our son gay too?

Seonghwa knew that these phrases were not for him, but for his father. Although the last one was for him too. His mother always confused him and rarely recognized him now that he was almost an adult. Was Seonghwa so much like his father? He didn't want to be.

But what was the use? He didn't know, because he barely remembered him.

Even though he wanted to lose his ears in that water, a noise ended up being much louder. This woke him up and made him leave. Stunned, he thought he heard an explosion or something, or maybe a car crash, he didn't know.

He went to his mother's room and went straight, he already had his share of hate today. Tomorrow would be another day.

He picked up another shirt, one that covered his entire arm, even though it was such a hot day. As if he wanted to disappear into his clothes.

He opened the window and looked in the direction of the loud sound. He saw black smoke rise very strongly in the direction that the school was. Soon ambulances and police cars ran down the street.

Nothing went through Seonghwa's mind, he was lost in emotions, an explosion in that small town didn't seem like much compared to his own mother saying she hated him, but actually meaning it to her husband.

In the end, did she hate Seonghwa too? If only she could remember who he was, then she could answer the question.

Another thing caught his eye, his neighbor from the front house was slowly waving his hand at Seonghwa.

He waved back, not with much desire, but happy to have a reason to leave the house.

Yeosang was calling him out, with a simple smile on his lips. Seonghwa promptly went to him.

He hugged and stroked the younger blond's light blond hair. Yeosang inhaled all of Seonghwa's perfume, not commenting on why the other had his hair so damp.

"Do you know what's going on, Sangie?" He called in a deep, calm voice, which he had once wanted to shout until he was hoarse under the water.

"An explosion near the school, I received a message from the group, it looks like Mingi's father died and Hongjoong is hurt. I'll see if I can help, but I'm still just an apprentice ..." said Yeosang with his hand wrapped around the Seonghwa's shoulders yet. He didn't want to get rid of that touch. "... And maybe I'll get in the way more."

His expression was discouraged. It had been six months since he got a scholarship to study medicine at a technical school, the same as the trio of soccer stars and Seonghwa were.

However, even studying at the best school, he was still the worst student when it came to surgery. Taking care of patients in the postoperative period was traumatic for him, ironically he hated seeing and smelling blood. Lucky that it was just taking care of the post-op and that he was just a technician, if it were college, he would freak out.

"But you said you were better, Sangie. Yes, you can help." Just hearing those words of encouragement, Yeosang's heart squeezed in his chest with that feeling that makes butterflies fly in his stomach.

"I know, Hyung. Thank you." Yeosang smiled at Seonghwa who returned the smile with a squeeze on his hand. Yeosang wanted to interlace his fingers, but he would never tell. "Anyway, I'm going to take a look and see at least Hongjoong, they said he was hit in the head. I think it could be a bruise, but as he got sick, he could have done worse."

"What was that noise, anyway?" Asked the eldest, but Yeosang shrugged, no one said what it was. "Anyway, I trust you, Sangie. Come on, show these guys that they make fun of you that you're the best."

Seonghwa's smile lit up the day, it was as if it were Apollo himself, God of the Sun. Little did Yeosang know about the hurts and wounds that the God carried.

Yeosang felt better and not a medical student failure. Seonghwa managed to pass calm and confidence, when Yeosang had nothing.

That's why he fell in love.

"I know you as if you were my little brother, best friend! There's no way you can go wrong or screw up like that!"

And that is why he knew that he was not reciprocal.