Need You Now- Buckingham Nicks

Part 1

Hey folks, so I had this idea spring into my head and I think it will only be a couple of chapters long... let me know what your thoughts are and thank you for taking the time to read!

He stood there, at her front door for what felt like hours, the rain seeping through his clothing to his skin but he couldn't really feel it. He didn't feel much, hadn't felt much for a long time, if he was being honest. It was as though the numbness became a normal part of his living and that saddened him, just knowing that there was nothing he could do to rid the dark cloud that had towered over him ever since he was told he had been removed from the legacy he had built with his fellow band members. It had been well over a year since the devastating news was delivered to him via a phone call from his manager, of all people and since that day, he was still trying to get some kind of closure. 

This was why he was still stood in front of the house of a woman who knew exactly how to make him feel like the most unimportant being living on earth. The woman, who he believed contributed to the emergency heart operation he had to undertake, probably shortening his life span to some degree if he forgot to calm himself down from time to time. The woman, might he add, who admitted her undying love to him on the final tour. It would always be the final tour in his eyes, it didn't matter what tours 'Fleetwood Mac' were planning without him, Fleetwood Mac died as soon as the lawsuit he filed against them came into place. He didn't think he had it in himself, to take his own band members to court, to fight his case against the unfair dismissal from the 40 year long partnership. 

The whole situation, in his eyes was probably worse than what a divorce felt like. The betrayal of not one, but all four members killed a little bit of his light. He had never been the same since, a part of him destroyed forever, the bitterness clung around him like a bad smell and everyday he awoke with the same small amount of hope sinking into his chest as he would open his eyes to check his mobile, a text, an email...anything, yet, it never came. Radio silence. He'd grown tired of the radio silence such a long time ago, and he actually found out he was a sufferer of the slight hiss of white noise that tinnitus brought the longer he was away from the loudness of playing concerts night after night. There were evenings where he would sit and stare into nothingness, pretending the slight hiss in his ears was a distant crowd as it cheered, the yearning to be upon a stage making his whole body ache. 

Now, he had been in this stance countless times since he was kicked out of the band, but this time would be different. He would make sure of that, his right hand clutching around a solid, rectangular brick. If she wouldn't open up her door to him, then he would break in. Was it a ridiculous action to even consider undertaking? Most definitely. Would she call the authorities? Probably, but he didn't care, they could take him away in cuffs for all he cared, so long as he could tell her exactly how he had been feeling. To make her see how much of a broken man he had become, maybe it would help him sleep better at night, having his anger released instead of having it suffocate him night after night. It saddened him, staring down at the brick in his hand, knowing that this was what it would take to see her face to face. 

He could still remember the last time they left the stage together. Keeping a hold of the image of her walking towards him with a warm smile before pulling him into an embrace, his arm launched the brick through one of her patio doors, the sound of crashing glass erasing the image in his mind of her smile on that stage.

He didn't hesitate, walking towards the damage he'd caused, he imagined this was what his heart looked like as he used his elbow to nudge a few shards that clung onto the frame of the door out of the way. He could feel his heart rate increasing already, knowing that he really needed to keep it under control. He stepped into the kitchen of her mansion, the familiar smell of her home a distant memory. His ears perked up, hearing the sound of footsteps storming through the hallway. His eyes fixed onto the door of the kitchen, awaiting whoever would be there to scream at him. Karen, a friend, family, who knows. What would they do, restrain him? He smirked, biting his bottom lip hard to see if he felt anything yet.