The Honeymoon Suite

Taco

Nolan

I leaned against the bathroom counter, overwhelmed by the different thoughts racing through my mind.

"I'm so stupid."

I looked up at my reflection in the mirror and pulled down the hem of my collar, revealing the hickey Reid had left on my body just minutes ago. My face burned at the thought.

It wasn't like he was doing something I didn't want, and I definitely liked it. The sexual tension between us was killing me at this point, yet I stopped him just because I got a little embarrassed? Nervous? Scared?

I scoffed.

"I'm pathetic."

I wanted to tell him that I didn't mean it, that I wish I could go back and not let my cowardice get the best of me, and that I had feelings for him... but at the end of the day, I was too nervous to have him touch me in the places that would change everything. How could I expect myself to get the courage to say those things?

I remembered Reid's face before he left, he wouldn't look me in the eye.

My hands tightened into fists.

I think I hurt him.

I wanted the same thing as him, but I acted on impulse out of fear, and my actions made him believe different. Reid tends to overthink things. He probably can't get my words out of his head.

Our vacation was almost at its end, would we have even continued after? Would we go back to being strangers? That's when a depressing thought hit me.

What if this is for the best? Let it have been a fling and nothing more.

That sounded like complete bullshit, even to me, and I'm the one that thought it.

I wasn't used to thinking such morbid thoughts, I've always focused on the bright side. Having such a negative outlook was new to me... I hate it.

I picked up my phone, my thumb hovering over Reid's contact.

Then I realized, my words would only make things worse. What's the use in saying them if my actions couldn't show it?

My teeth clenched in annoyance.

Was I really going to throw away everything I have with him out of something as mundane as fear?

I didn't want to think of a future without Reid's smile, his laugh, his kisses, the way he feels in my arms, or the thousands of different ways he teases me. It didn't matter to me that we hadn't known each other for long, I connected almost instantly with Reid in a way I didn't know was possible.

Did I ruin it all?

I sat on the bed. I was going to wait for him to come back, and come clean.

So I waited, and waited, until almost two hours had passed. I was itching with anticipation.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket, and my heart rate picked up once I saw that it was a text message from Reid.

"Taco or burger"

And just like that, my chest sunk.

My thumbs began to race against the keyboard.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to stop, I know that's what it looks like but I was just scared. I like you, a lot. I hate myself for letting my nerves get the best of me. I care about you so much, Reid. So please don't give up on me."