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Chapter 1 : Childhood Nostalgia

I have always been the comely and charming child in my family, or maybe that's what I have been told. Since my childhood, I have been stem thin with a complexion as white as milk. Being in my thirties, I still carry the perfect hourglass figure and flawless white skin, and I am often complimented for my smile. I still carry the tag of neighbor's envy and owners pride.

At a very young age, I was sent to a hostel because juggling between work-life and house-life was a toll on my parents. My dad was a sergeant and was posted to another country. When I was four, he would visit us every month with gifts and relics, but as years passed by, he got busier with his work, and his visits became very often. My mother was a very diligent and docile lady. She was just like one of the strict lady professors we've had in our schools. She was a lecturer at a very renowned college and used to run her own coaching center in the evening.

My mother and father weren't bad parents, which was a fact they were rather proud of. According to them, you could still be a good parent without being constantly present in your child's life. But who would explain them that good parenting is more than just paying for your child's education or being by their side to help them with their homework. Undoubtedly, my folks loved me, and I was grateful for that gift but struggling between the ups and downs of life they were unable to take out time from their busy schedules. On that note, my parents decided to put me in a hostel. The idea of living in a hostel didn't suffocate me at first, but as the day approached, I realized leaving home for an eight-year-old was not an easy task.

I stood between both my parents as we entered the towering building. It had a tall black gate with a buffed slate of Saint Joseph with their colorful emblem embedded. As my eyes darted a glance around, I saw a thin woman walking towards us who greeted us with a cheerful smile.  She asked to fill some necessaries and the elders present made a short conversation. Slowly, my parents began to lose their grip on my hand. I struggled to cling to them tightly, but as they left it, I felt as if I never belonged to hold it.

I was then handed over to a pious looking young woman who seemed to be the guardian nun of the hostel. Waving the last goodbye to my parents until summer vacations made me sad in the heart but the sadness also didn't last too long.

I was amazed to see the vast campus that was spread over 200 acres. St. Joseph, being one of the most famed hostels of Delhi, had spacious classrooms with high ceilings which were surrounded by gardens and playgrounds that just seemed to go on endlessly. The place, with all that it had to offer, mesmerized me as I walked through the corridors, passing activity halls equipped with projector screens and big speakers. The library hall did remind me of the one from Beauty and the Beast that I used to fantasize about when I was younger. The hostel also had a serene prayer room that had white Calcutta marble flooring on which hundreds of mats were laid in a row.

The matron and I made our way across the building to a gate where my luggage was already kept. As we entered, I saw thirty or so beds in a row with each having a small cupboard attached to it. The same neatly tucked bedsheets that occupied the huge room gave the dormitory the look of a hospital ward. As we walked a little forward, she stopped me near the eleventh row and touched me on the shoulder,

"This is your bed right here. Your timetable will be given to you shortly; by that time you can take some rest and head for lunch after an hour."

"Ji," I replied as we exchanged smiles.

After a while, she left the room. I looked around the place and lay down on my bed. It sure was soft and comfortable, but nothing beats something that you've owned in your home. I stared at the ceiling and remained still, I could feel the calmness of the place. It felt beautiful until it was broken all of a sudden by the thud of the gate. The restfulness of the dorm was disturbed when it started filling up with all the girls. They walked past me and glanced at me the same way as people do at the queerish paintings they see in museums. I saw many faces, the bubbly ones, the talkative ones and even the mousy ones.

As the day was setting off and the night enveloped around the hostel, I felt like a loner. It had taken the newness of the place that had held my attention for the whole day. I clutched my pillow and the sadness returned along with the feeling of homesickness and tears. I turned around and held my pillow tighter; the place was deserted. I heard the sound of footsteps approaching me, and I wiped my tears hastily. I got up and saw two girls walking towards me. They had totally contradicting personalities. The taller one had a character, the one of a tomboy with a pixie cut. She also had a colorful nose pin that shined. The other girl who accompanied her appeared to be totally the opposite. She had a naive look with rosy cheeks and a small smile.

"Hey, just in case you didn't get your timetable it's time for dinner," the taller one said. I looked at them for a while like a lost two-year-old child.

"I, I am Nandini. Nice to meet... nice to meet you," I stammered, but I somehow managed to reply.

Shreya jumped in with the wide jovial smile she had and said,
"Nandini, how are you so fair. I mean you have a beautiful complexion." I blushed.

As I began to answer Namah asked us to save the talk for the dinner table as we were already running late. They led the way through the crowd and reached the dining hall for supper. The mess was quite large, and we could smell the varieties of food as we entered. We finally found a corner table to sit at and chit chatted for some time.

The food undoubtedly was healthy and had a distinct taste, but not a single dish could beat the food made by Ma; too bad they don't pack and sell a mother's love at grocery stores. Luckily, I did not get a lot of time to dwell on this as I was surrounded by the other girls for the next half an hour. Their faces were filled with excitement, and many of them tried to talk to me. Their back-to-back questions for sure distracted me at first, but in time, they exhausted me a lot. The conversation was then interrupted by the woman who was the matron assigned to our dorm.
She clapped her hands twice, "Come on girls, it's time for bed. Everybody dismiss and go to your beds."

She waited for the girls to settle in their beds. While leaving she added,
"And yes, don't forget to go to the washroom. I don't want to see your pee-pee in the bed."

I giggled as she left; hearing the word pee-pee for the first time was kind of funny.

I settled my bed and lay down, but sleep came to me reluctantly that night. I have never been this punctual in my life, and the thought of getting used to this routine seemed really hard. I had put up a brave face for my parents earlier, but after all, underneath all the façade, I was still a little girl whose life had just seen its first big change which was pretty scary.