Inhaling Alongside You✔️

Chapter Thirty: Heart Beats

The ability to humble yourself before the presence of turmoil or tragedy, is a given gift of growth. Those whom humble themselves before fatality may only gain faith in return. And with humbleness you gain perspective. You gain perspective of the cause and the effects of the faith received from your humbleness. It's a given prospect.

"Jess... Babygirl I'm so sorry" Michael stresses as he closes the suites door behind him.

Glancing away from the overview window, I turn my gaze onto him. His breaths were frequent, his eyes weary. He now knows.

"Babygirl, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm a damn fool. I am stupid fool. God, Jess forgive me" He pleads, taking me in his arms once he approaches me.

My heart crumbles. My intention of breaking my miscarriage to Bill wasn't to have him tell Michael and have Michael blame himself. After he confronted me about the call he received yesterday, I stresses to him that I wanted to tell Michael myself, so that I can construe to him my sorrow for keeping the secret from him.

His intoxicating, natural aroma cools my nerves as well as soothes my pain. Though his cries are of sorrow and guilt I find peace within his reaction. I feared the worse, opting out his sympathy as a response. Yet again, Michael has proved his patience and his love to be true. His hold of my torso tightens as his sobs are the only sound muting my words.

I'm completely, unconditionally in love with this man. When I dealt with my fathers death, he remained by myself promising to never let go until I asked. I didn't want him to let go then and I don't want him to let go now.

"Sh. Just hold me" I finally whisper, burying my face into the nape if his neck.

And that he did. Neither one of us could manage a word as our mourning drowned any possibility of them. When the tears graze our cheeks for their final appearance, Michael and I retire to the comforts of our suites bed.

"I still can't believe I could've been a father. Five months... I'm so sorry Jess" Michael's voice cracks in the mist of out silence.

I cuddle into his chest, glancing at the ceiling. My thoughts drift to my reminisce of the joy I felt having a living, breathing being inside of me. The private talks of our future, still imprinted into my memory. Though I'm seemingly selfish for not allowing Michael to experience the same. It's a beautiful experience.

"I'm sorry as well. I was selfish. But I talked to our baby. I told the baby all about his or her daddy. I think the baby loved hearing your name" I smile, glancing up at him.

He tilts his head slightly to return my gaze. His lips curve into that infamous, loving smile of his. His eyes begin to sparkle when I return his smile.

"Really? Th-The baby loved hearing about me? Wow" He awes.

I nod, listening to the steady beat if his heart. Just like the baby's, slow and wondrous.

"Yes... I even tried singing some of your songs. God I wished you could feel when the baby moved. I believe the baby was a boy. I don't know why, but I do" I sigh dreamily.

"A baby boy. Our baby boy. What would his name have been?"

His name. That's something I never once thought about. The most pertinent privilege of creating a child, gifting the child with a name. When I ponder on the possible names I would have given our child, I reminisce on the story I was foretold by my mother. The story of how my name came to be.

"Mommy, The kid's at school pick on me. They call me a boy. All because of my stupid name!" I sob, clenching onto the plush stomach of my teddy bear.

With an amused smile as well as a warming glow of her eyes, she sits beside me and pulls me into her lap.

"Princess, I have told you your name is special, very special" She encourages, pecking my forehead.