Inhaling Alongside You✔️

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Closing Chapter

Misconceptions are the enemy of the truth. Misconceptions are defined with perplexities and anger. Words can be twisted. Emotions will arise with negativity all because of misconception. A troublesome word it is that can terrorize a relationship, a bond. Unfortunately for me, misconception has taken it's toll on my relationship as well, claiming Jesse as it's victim. Therefore leaving me to straddle the fence of truth in order to prohibit anymore damage.

"I fucking hate you Michael!" Her last words before she ended our conversation. Five words with so much meaning behind them. I knew she didn't mean it then, but it still hurt knowing she dared to even screech those five words. "I hate you", a spear to my heart and poison to my ears. I didn't mean to anger her. I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't mean anything by my actions.

I may have not been in the right mind set since her announcement of this quite attractive man offering to be her coach out of the blue. It seemed suspicious to me at the time, so I waited for a month secretly hoping she wouldn't accept his offer.

After a month, despite my guilty prayers, she indeed did accept. When she accepted, I didn't know what to do. Therefore I made a desperate decision out of insecurity. And now, my punishment has been served with a platter of anticipation and regret.

Anticipation for her to call apologizing for her words and offering to mend and disseminate our verbal quarrel and come to a general census. Regret for even allowing my insecurity to lead me to such a drastic decision. Meanwhile, I'm allowing Brooke to guilt trip me into forming a casual friendship.

After the dinner with Elizabeth and meeting her new boyfriend, Brooke brought it upon herself to manually invite herself to my next concert. Initially, I wanted to tell her that I didn't own any spare tickets, but woest me, she had her own.

Liz thought it was strange as well that Brooke has a new found interest in "mending" and developing a "friendship". I casually explained to Liz that this was just for her closure. I was willing to do anything just to have Brooke finally gain her "closure" and leave me alone. Huge mistake.

Two months later, she's dragging me to her outings. Introducing me to her friends, and even inviting me out for private dinners. Each week there was an event with her. I was perplexed.

Shouldn't she have other male companions to accompany her? Why am I the one she's dragging around? I needed answers then and haven't received an ounce of a clue since.

With Jesse not answering my calls because of my "relationship" with Brooke, I have finally come to the conclusion, with the help provided from a recent, long sermon of Bills, that I need to end this now before it goes any further. This hole is deep enough.

Before my flight to Rosemont, I need to finalize my this decision with Brooke and proceed to mend things before my concert in Rome. I don't want to visit Jesse and Rome with the acknowledgement that there is still a glacier between us, especially if that means for the proceeding next eight months I won't be able to focus. I want to elatedly share my last eight months of the Bad tour with Jesse. I can't have her angry with me. It's too much to bare.

"Has she called since this morning?" I desperately ask, pacing the hotel suite as I contemplate my next few moves.

I'm playing chess with this situation. One wrong move and I will be standing along without my queen. That's impossible in chess. A king standing without his queen. Yet, here I am standing on the board without my queen while my enemy vastly approaches with swift moves of her own. I want to carefully claim my victory and walk away with the right of "check mate".

Dear Lord, help me.

"No. But yes, I did call her and even left a message with Rafael. He says she hasn't been talking. She just goes to her rehearsals or her performances and returns to the hotel" Bill informs me, approaching me slowly.