My Robotic Boyfriend

98

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Ethan 

Even as I paced back and forth in my living room, ignoring the constant chiming of my phone, my heart felt unsteady against my chest. I was unable to calm myself, my mind thinking different thoughts all at once, looking for a little ounce of sanity and serenity, but could find none. Then again, how could I have peace? After what I've done... After acting so recklessly... What even was I thinking? Why didn't I reason it all before taking action? Why did I let my stupid self pull that trigger? There had to have been another way... How could I have pulled the trigger without a second thought? What the hell is wrong with me? Do I even understand the gravity of what I have done? I just killed-- 

I couldn't even think it. Thinking of it would bring up thoughts, thoughts that would bring up impossible solutions to everything that happened today... Edith... 

At the thought of her, I could feel myself breaking all over again. 

I shouldn't have let her go... I should have forced her into listening to me... Should have put in more efforts.. If I had, she would have been with me the whole time... she would still be here with us... with Malcolm... God, Malcolm... What is he going to do now? How do I even talk to him? What could I even possibly say to him that'll ease the pain he was undoubtedly going through? 

This was all my fault... I should have stopped all this from the start... should have found a way to convince Ivy that the recovery of the Core was farfetched... that something was seriously off... and indeed something was. We might have succeeded, but I had no doubt in my mind that Glory made that happen.. She would have never allowed us leave with the Core.

There was no doubt in my mind that she wanted Ivy dead tonight, that was exactly why she pulled that little stunt with Ralph... What was she thinking? That I would let Ralph hurt her? 

I paused... 

Or was she trying to prove something to me? Was she trying to prove that going against her was bound to bring up an unfortunate event? That I was bound to lose someone I care about, be it Ralph or Ivy? 

It didn't take long for me to realise what game Glory had played with me, with Ivy, with everyone of us... Now I know why I couldn't even bring myself to tears... I was mad, I was angry at myself for not seeing this before... for not seeing Glory for who she really was... Angry that I underestimated her, angry that I once again believed she wouldn't do anything like this... I was even more mad that I let this happen... I was mad that I didn't stop us from walking right into one of her stupid traps... How could I have been so blind and stupid? 

With the last sound from my phone, came a gentle knock from the front door. 

I paused, my eyes going over to my door. 

The knock came in again, soft, calm and calculated. 

My jaw clenched, my hand balling into a hard fist as I moved to pull the door open. "I would have gone to a conclusion that you had a death wish, but seeing as you already cheated that a long time ago, you're probably just desperate for my attention." 

Glory smiled. "You seem to be doing better than expected... how you've grown, son." 

I ignored that. "You still have the nerve to come here? After everything you did tonight?" 

"Can I come in?" 

"No you can't." I injected almost immediately. 

She chuckled. "You might wanna reconsider that because what I have to say is pretty important."