Hostage.

Chapter Four.

I spent the next few days on my window seat again but this time with the curtains drawn, I had taken so many tablets it was suddenly a lot harder to function or remember most things, but I kept them and the drink flowing and I planned to until I was completely numb. I looked over at the bed that held so many memories that I didn't want to remember anymore so I did what any insane person, jacked up on prescriptions meds would do, I broke the bed apart, I no longer wanted to look at it.

I then started to take it all downstairs and moved it outside ready for when my brother gets back to take it to the scrap yard. I dusted off my hands once I had brought the last piece down, as I turned to go back to my front door I noticed Rocco standing on his drive leaning against the car watching me whilst four men spoke to him, one I recognised as the park man and another one who took the shortbreads. I looked away and carried on walking into the house like his presence doesn't affect me, but once inside I locked the door and let the tears flow again.

I headed back up to my room, my floor was bare except a half empty bottle of vodka and a whole load of pills along with  empty packets. I chucked my blankets and cushions onto the floor and laid on top of them, I looked across my room to see my old laptop and speakers and right now I just needed to drown everything out. I set it up blaring the first song I saw before laying back down. I began to drink again looking up at my ceiling wondering if I would ever be good enough for anyone?

Once I noticed my bottle on the verge of emptiness I decided it was time to go out, I needed to get more anyway and I'm sure a walk will help. I slipped shoes on not bothering to change out of my shorts and hoodie.
I shut the front door behind me taking in a deep breathe of fresh air, it was definitely needed, I ignored the whole street opposite me and went to carry on, I made it off the street making me sigh in relief.

I finally made it home, stumbling through the front door, I brought two bottles and had already started on one during my journey home, I headed back upstairs to where I collapsed in my heap of drugs and pillows in hope to keep feeling numb.

I picked up some tablets and just kept taking them, one after the other, I didn't want to stop. I began to feel nausoues and lightheaded due to the drink and meds mixed but I still couldn't stop. I heard a loud banging on the door, I swung my bedroom door shut and blared the music louder before walking into my ensuite to go into my bottom draw where I keep my rolling box, I know when I got with Matt I promised to stop smoking it but right now I didn't see the point. After rolling I walked to my brothers room to grab his bong to go back into mine, still ignoring the banging on the front door and my name being called.

"I swear to God Elizabeth" He shouted leaving a pause "Open this Damn door!" I've never heard him yell before but I still shut my bedroom door earning another loud bang on the front door.

I filled up the bong one-fifth of the way ready to put the joint in the tube, once I sat down I reached next to me and grabbed a lighter and began my session. I was on my fourth hit when my bedroom door swung open hitting the wall behind, Rocco stood there like a fuming bull, I smirked at him passing the bong which was snatched out of my hand and slammed on the side, his eyes never leaving me, he looked at my surroundings before turning to look at me once again. I shut my eyes cursing all the mixed meds, drink and tablets, I jumped up quickly like I was suddenly sober and run to the bathroom to chuck up all the liquid and mess in my system whilst he stood in the doorway watching me. After the seventh time of me being sick I was finally finished. I wiped my mouth as I closed the lid to flush. I leaned against the wall trying to support myself due to feeling so damn exhausted.

We stayed in silence for a good while until he finally broke it.

"Get your shit together" He said softly again. I shook my head bring my knees up to my chest placing my face between them hoping he wouldn't see the tears. I jumped as he hit my bedroom wall before he started to go through my belongings to pack for me. I struggled but got up before stumbling over to him taking my belongings out of his hands.