Phil's POV
"Phil, please! I'm begging you!" I looked away. I couldn't look into his eyes. "Phil, look at me," he whispers using his hand to lift my face up. "Please. If you love me as much as you say you do, you'll promise me this."
He's right. I look at him through teary eyes. I try to talk but my throat closes up on me, stopping and kind of verbal communication. So I just nod instead. A millisecond after I do, I find myself in his arms, crying into his purple pajama shirt.
I faintly hear him mumbling soothing words into my ear but I ignore him. "It's- it's all m- my fau- u- ult! " I say through a sob. "I- it's all my-" I cut myself off as I start having a panic attack.
"Phil? Phil! Oh, God! Phil, babe, just breath!" Dan yells in panic. "Shit!" He yells. "Phil? Phil, do we need to call 999?" I shake my head. It'll pass. He looks a little hesitant but nods anyways.
He sits down next to my shaking body and pulls me into his lap. Taking my head in his hands, he carefully places my head in the crook of his neck and begins rocking us back and forth. It's comforting to say the least.
After what seems like hours, I stop shaking. But the silent tears still stream down my face. Dan had stopped rocking us a while ago and is now sat playing with my hair. "Are you okay now?"
"Yeah," I say weakly. I wince before adding, "I'm so sorry Dan." He pulls back so I'm looking at his face. I can only imagine what I look like to him right now. My face is probably splotchy and red, my hair disheveled, and my eyes red, small tears still falling occasionally.
"It's not your fault Phil," he says while shaking his head. "You can't help the attacks. And that's okay." He kisses my forehead and pulls my head back to his neck.
"No," I say, "I mean the cutting." I feel him tence up under me. "It's just that, it- it helps."
"Phil," he murmers against my skin.
"What's your secret?" I ask.
He adverts his gaze to anywhere but my eyes. "Wh- what secret?"
I just shrug."Everybody has a secret Dan. It's okay to tell me," I say. I give him a weak smile of encouragement.
"Phil, Phil I can't do-."
"Please, Dan?" I ask quietly.
He hesitates, then nods. "Okay, fine."
- - - - -
Hah I did a thing. Yeah. That's all. Bye. Stay Frantastic! ~ >·< Emma
