Pirate Souls

II - Chapter 10 - Friends ?

I do not know what to think any more. According to Florence, it is easy to abandon everything. To let go of what makes me who I am. My identity.

Everything was clear before I met her. Steven Kelly. The Irishman. Captain of the Anarkhia. The street nipper who rose spectacularly. Who am I if you take away all that? What is left of me?

If I am no longer myself, will she still love me? I am lost. I prefer to stop thinking and concentrate on the reality of the situation. We are sailing southwards, but Cook is still Carpentier's prisoner. I could leave him to his fate and continue, enjoying perfect love with Florence. After all, that is the pirates' law. Me first. Only me.

I cannot accept this. Gibs, with all his faults — and God knows he has a few — is my friend. Even if there is no one in charge of the ship, I must convince the sailors that it would be wise to turn about and fetch him back.

Leng, Jaime, Rick, Bappé, Nick and Léon are waiting for me on the poop deck. The walls are thin. They have heard our argument. The other seamen are busy on deck. Men I do not know me hail me as I pass. The crew is composed of around twenty pirates. I am proud of my Sirena.

"The Irishman!" Rick calls out with a big grin. "Welcome aboard!"

I had not missed his vile stubs of teeth and his nauseating smell.

"Rick," I greet him coldly.

"Hola señor irlandés. No necesita matar a su padre, finalmente," he jokes.

Moron! I do not even feel like pretending to smile. Florence has told them the whole story. Her trust in them is totally misplaced. I must admit that I am jealous of the relationship they have with her. I had hoped that I would be the only one to keep her secrets.

"Pleased to have you on board," says Leng.

"Likewise," echoes Bappé.

That is all. No excuses. No shame. They stare at me, waiting for my reaction. Nick and Léon pretend to look at their feet, ill at ease.

"I had the firm intention of skinning you alive, men," I declaim with my most authoritarian voice.

They freeze.

"You are indebted to me."

"Balderdash,' Bappé defies me, arms crossed. 'We are free now. Totally."

"I know. But I want to go and fetch Cook. He too has the right to experience this."

"If we help you," asks Leng, "will you abandon all your ideas of revenge and obey the new rules on board the Anarkhia?"

I stare at them one by one. They are not friends. Just fellow travellers. In truth, I don't give a damn if they have betrayed me. Florence is the only one that counts. Their acts have soiled my reputation. It is no longer of any importance. Popularity is a moving shadow. It fades.

Gibs, on the other hand, is more than real.

"Cook alive against my will to take this brig wherever you wish. I keep the cabin and Sirena," I add, challenging Jaime.

"Estas loco si quieres ser el amante de una siréna," he jokes.

The others laugh in turn. It is done. Florence watches the scene with a smile, Gwewa beside her. It is the first time in my life that I have believed myself capable of forgiveness.

A shout. An alert.

"Ship ahoy, to the North-East."

It was too good to last.