Zalius | ✔︎

☽ 𝟰𝟳 : 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘁'𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵 ☾

☯︎︎

10:34 pm

Sitting alone on the master bedroom bed was making me feel super lonely. My heart felt empty and stupidly desperate for something to happen between both of us, and I already knew that fact that I myself am putting my existence under the bus through doing something this dangerous. Heck, the actual deed of going to one of Illusion's bases to destroy their people wasn't even the hardest part, it was this, the part before the plan gets commenced.

I was almost on the verge of hyperventilating and possibly even swoon my way to sleep because of torturing myself through remembering everything about the love of my life, how much we were far away from each other even though we knew the other half was in the same damn building, and how much I missed his voice, or his smile, or his hugs and especially his kisses. I knew that one day I would get so used to him pampering me with his love that I wouldn't want anything else, and now that I momentarily was not having it, made my day worser by the second.

I don't know what he's feeling at the moment, seemingly because he suddenly created this facade of a fog around himself to keep his thoughts, emotions and even words clandestine without even speaking to anyone for God knows how long, and that scared the shit out of me. Even through the mate bond I couldn't predict things, it was like he became difficult to decipher, so I wanted to make things right before actually going out in the world to fix some crap. I wouldn't be able to do the impossible mission properly, knowing the fact that he hasn't spoken to me, which is why I desperately stated at the door of the bedroom in hopes of him arriving out of the blue to show that he had the same desire to talk to me.

Deep breaths Rhea, breathe in, breathe out. If he ain't coming, you know what to do.

You'll do amazing, just be positive and you'll be Gucci.

Your walls are built, you trained for this, you're good at deceiving and are good at lying thanks to years of experience.

He can't read your mind, he can't read your mind at the moment, he simply can't.

Just stay calm, stay cool, and don't be a dumbass while trying to fool Father Sky.

Don't overthink, you can do this you can do this you can do this. Even if it's considered lying, I have to do this.

It's the only way.

You can do this. Just breathe Rhea, remember the bigger picture.

"ZALIUS!?" I nervously called out into the empty bedroom while being surrounded by a warm blanket of silence, clutching the two drink bottle in my hands with anticipation after feeling my voice crack a little in the end, anxiously waiting for him to stop by or something, because the sooner I leave, the sooner he wouldn't have to worry about Illusion coming in and ruining things for other humans.

I haven't talked to him since that meeting, I knew that and it fucking killed me inside, and it pains me to think he's using all his time to let his anger out into all the punching bags in the headquarters gym. Heck, I don't even know whether if it's actually mad at me for accidentally making him have the calmest rage ever, or if he's mad at himself by blaming himself for not being able to protect me. And if I am being honest, it would be much easier for me if he is mad on my instead, I don't want him to blame himself for nothing.