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t w e n t y t w o

"i need to talk to you."

eddie is physically shaking, trying his best to hide it from his mother, who sits on the couch across from him.

"hm," she barely acknowledges that he'd said something, but that's the least of his worries at the moment.

after seeing the couple at the park, eddie hadn't been able to sleep. or eat, or think, or basically function without imagining him and richie being that couple, being that happy.

but with having to hide his sexuality from his mother, eddie is well aware that he would not be able to be that happy. at least, until he got it over with and just told her. he knew she'd react badly, but that was a given, and by now, eddie didn't give a shit about what she thought.

and so, the morning after he'd hung out with his friends at the park, eddie had phoned his mother, told her he was coming over to visit, and taken a bus to her small, messy apartment. she hadn't even gotten up to let him in or get him a drink, but again, eddie has quite a one track mind, and so he doesn't really care.

"it's kind of important, ma," eddie says, trying to get her to pay enough attention so that she would at least look at him. "you probably won't be too happy about it."

figures, this gets mrs. kaspbrak to look up. she doesn't like much, but it seems that being angry at her only son is one of her favourite pastimes, and so now she sits attentively.

"what is it, eds?"

eddie sighs a little bit, rubbing his clammy hands against his jeans and trying to steady his breathing. for some reason he is finding the words a lot harder to force out than he'd expected, and so he has to take another few deep breaths before he finds his voice.

"ma, i know we talked about this before, but, um," his voice cracks halfway through the sentence and he clears his throat before continuing. "i'm, uh.. i'm gay."

mrs. kaspbrak's face doesn't change for a moment. eddie sits there, breathing as silently as possible, hoping that if he is still enough he would disappear before she reacted.

then, she starts laughing.

eddie smiles unevenly, confused. "what's so funny, ma?"

she shakes her head and composes herself, waving eddie's question away. "it's a funny joke, eds, but don't you remember you pulled this prank on me a while back? it's never as good the second time around."

ah. she was referring to when he came out and she freaked out so bad that he had to tell her he was joking. no wonder she doesn't believe him this time.

"no, ma," eddie sucks in a shaky breath. "i'm not joking."

her face hardens into stone almost immediately. "what?"

"i'm not joking. i wasn't joking last time either, i just said i was because of how angry you were. i'm sorry i didn't just tell you sooner and that i lied. but i am. gay, i mean."

her face comforts into something of disgust before shifting into some sort of disappointment and finally ending up on anger. "you are not my son."

eddie can't breathe anymore, and he goes to tell her he is her son, that nothing has changed, but before he can, she sternly tells him to leave without any remorse in her voice, not giving him any time to argue before she stands from her spot and opens the door for him.

eddie doesn't know what else to do, so he leaves.