GHOST OF YOU | BWS

one.

Six months.
It's been six month since the person I loved the most was taken away from me. Six month since a part of my heart was ripped out, leaving nothing but emptiness. The pain of the first months has been replaced by numbness, and quickly taken over by anger and rage. They say there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I think that's bullshit. There's no acceptance. How could you accept that someone's been taken away from you? How could you ever leave the anger stage?

Six months.
It's been six month since my brother Charlie was murdered. Six months, and I know I will never reach the acceptance stage. Acceptance would mean being okay with him being gone, with him never getting to make a life for himself, never getting to dance with me at my wedding. Acceptance would mean being okay with the fact that someone took his life, knowingly. Being okay with the fact that someone purposely pulled the trigger on him, watched him fall to the ground, and bleed to death. How could I ever accept that? How could I ever reach that stage knowing that that person still roams the streets, free. Because that's the reality of things. My brother was shot by a drug lord who has enough power and money to get away without charges after killing a man. He is out there, living his life, while he took that away from Charlie.

They say the pain never goes away, you just learn to live with it. Again, bullshit. How could you go back to living a normal life after someone that close to you was stolen from you? There's no normal anymore. And I just don't know how to even live. He was my everything, and now he's gone. And all I can think about, day and night is how scared he must have been, all alone while he bled out on the street, with no one to help him. He was killed in broad daylight, how could no one has done anything? If someone had, he wouldn't be dead. I wouldn't feel like a ghost, like my soul has been sucked out of my body. I am haunted by the thoughts of the man who did that to him, and all I can think about is everything I will do to him when I find him. Because I will, no matter what it takes, and I will make him feel the pain I feel.

"Are you sure you've got everything?" my mom asks me as I bring my suitcase downstairs. Today, I move to Birmingham, the very city my brother was killed in. It took a lot of convincing, but my parents eventually let me move there. The only condition being to continue my studies, so I agreed and applied to the university of Birmingham, where Charlie was also studying. Of course, my parents don't know the real reason I decided to move there. How could they? They think I am their sweet, innocent, and heartbroken daughter. But that person died the day Charlie did.
"Mom, I'll be alright", I comfort her, seeing how nervous she is to let me go to Brum. I know what I'm doing is selfish, that I am basically signing my own death warrant, and about to get their only daughter killed, but the truth is, I don't care. I don't care if I die, I don't care if I add on to their already searing pain. I know I should, but I simply don't. I lost my feelings with Charlie. All I can feel now and for the past months is pain and rage. And it's not going to go away. My parents drive me to the train station, and engulfed me in a tight hug. My dad tells me to be careful, and my mom to call everyday, and I nod, like the robot I have been for months. I give them a fake smile, trying to convince them I am okay, when in reality I feel like I am being burnt alive. It's been six months, and yet the fire doesn't die down. Somehow, it grows as I get closer to the man who did it to me. All I have is a name, Reggie. that's all I heard from the police. My brother was murdered by that man, and we didn't get to know his name. 'Sorry for your loss' they kept telling us. But we didn't lose anything. Charlie was taken from us, and will never come back. Reggie did that to us, he made me into this shadow of a person. He didn't just take one life that day. He took four. And I will make him pay for that.

Ahhhh NEW STORY - again!! I am so excited to share this new book with you guys! My imagination has been crazy lately, and I have so many books ideas. So I'll keep you busy for a while. This story is different from FRIENDS or Spies and Lies. It's more raw, and real, and I really hope you guys will like it as much as I like writing it. Let me know in the comments what you thought of that first chapter, and don't forget to give it a click on the star icon if you liked it ❤️. Chloé