The Regretted Words {Tae ff} Completed ✔

💜 bonus part 💜

Here I am......Infront of noona's grave. It has been 3 years,but the guilt is still eating me alive. I left my parents long ago.... they begged me to stay but I didn't.....I left the family and the whole family business. The business was the one because of which my parents have all their attention to me.

I had an album. It had our pictures from the past. But......not so surprisingly, there were none of noona's pic. I mean, she was the one who was told to take the pictures. She wasn't in anyone of them. Yeah....she was in a pic from our birth.....but it mainly had me in my mom's arms and dad hugging both of us. Noona was in the background. Sleeping. Oblivious to her unfortunate fate.

All my life, my mom and dad had done everything for me. They got me everything I wanted. While noona was always in the corner. Not talking.

The maids were the one who changed her diapers. They were the one who gave her bath until she was capable of doing it herself. Mom and dad didn't even look at her. When I got a little bigger and more used to the surroundings. I got to know that I even had a sister.

The maids were the one who told me that she's my sister. My parents never took her to any of the parties or meets. They only introduced me as their son. When I got to know that she is related to me, I was stunned. She was the cutest little girl I had ever seen. Mostly because all the girls in our grade were ugly. I didn't know that we cannot marry our siblings so I used to play couple games with her until she told me that siblings cannot marry.

I was throwing a tantrum until she told me that I'll find someone better than her. Then I will forget about her. I promised her that I would never forget about her.

I broke my promise.....
In the first year of middle school, some people came up to me and told me that they wanted to become my friends. I was confused because no one ever wanted to be friends with me.

I took their offer.

A few days later,me and my new friends were walking down the hallway when Jungkook, one of the boys pointed at my sister. "Yo bro,look at that cute girl. She'll be a nice victim." I was confused again. Victim? Why victim? What were they gonna do?

My thoughts came to a stop when Jungkook when to her and pushed her towards the locker. Harshly.

I just looked at him in shock. "What is he doing?"I asked Jimin"he's bullying her" he simply answered. I don't know why,but I didn't have the guts to stop him or tell him that she's my sister. We weren't identical. Both were beautiful in our own way.

I wish I stopped him in time...

Soon,I became a teenager. My hormones got the best of me and I started to develop some attitude. I told her not to talk to me until it's highly important.

I did some major mistakes. Like one day,I was about to light a cigarette. I got bad influence from my friends but I couldn't care less. The cigarette was in my mouth and I was finding a lighter when she barged into my room.

"Taetae,do you have-"I cut her off. "WHO GAVE YOU THE PERMISSION TO BARGE INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT KNOCKING OR PERMISSION?! HUH? AND WE ARE NOT 4 ANYMORE. CALL ME BY MY REAL NAME AND I WILL CALL YOU BY YOU NAME. NO MORE STUPID NICKNAMES."I yelled at her. Our parents weren't at home so no one would hear what I had said. Even if someone heard,no one cares about her so I'll still be safe.

I vividly remember her face. The way it dropped and her eyes got shiny. She looked down embarrassed and silently said "I'm sorry Taehyung. I'll never come into your room again and I'll never call you by any nicknames". I didn't know why,but I felt a pang in my heart when I heard her say this.

She quickly turned around and left. I asked myself back then...."did I do the right thing?" And guess what my immature ass would've said. "Yes...you did the right thing...."

I still regret it.

And that day.....when I slapped her because of that sl*t. It's the worst I have done.

I come to her grave everyday with new flowers. I didn't know her favourite ones and I always bought her roses. Until....I read further into her diary and found out she's allergic to them. How can I be so dumb?

From then on,I bought lilies. I read that they were her favourite. Although she had never gotten an individual lily because no one got her, it's still her favourite.

I still hit myself for the times when I thought of our family without her. I hate it. I hate myself.

Her pale face sickened me everyday. The way it had shrunk on her bones... Her fragile hands......I wish I gave you a proper hug after my teenage years. I wish I could at least ask you for forgiveness... But I guess it's too late to regret.

I punch myself when I remember what I said to you on our birthday. I accused you of going to clubs and f*cking boys, while in reality, you worked for me and tried to overcome your depression.

I still regret everything....I regret not telling Mr. And Mrs Kim to take you with us...

I laughed at you while you were being bullied. I gave you emotional scars. You lived just because I loved you.... And I made you feel worthless.... If only I had given you the chance to talk. If only I wasn't such an assh*le.

I believed Mina over you......I called you a sl*t. I just wanna kill myself.

Now, my head is hurting..... It's like I'm about to die..... My heart beat is also fast. Is this it? My end? I'm happy if this is the end because.......at least I'll die at noona's grave.

I could almost see my noona's pretty face. Her smile is Infront of me. But I know it's a fake smile.....I never saw her smile for real. It's was always fake.

I'm coming noona.....
The last thing I saw before passing out was a man and a woman coming towards me.

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Umm... This is officially the end of this book. I'm working on a book 2. I have no idea when it'll be published because my exams are coming and I haven't even touched the books yet. But don't worry. I'll continue the Jimin ff and work on book 2 in drafts.

Bye~~~
P.S:the cover🐥