Lily's Wish

Tears in the Library

A/N Hi guys, once again, comments are welcome, but please don't be mean. Also, this is the second last chapter, this story is quite short. Thanks, BalletButterfly.

She woke up on Saturday, determined to talk to Severus about what had happened the day before, wanting to see if her friend was alright after the complete and utter embarrassment of the whole school seeing under his robes. Lily shoved her robes on and raced to breakfast, hoping to catch him there, but he wasn't at the Slytherin table, nor in the hallway outside the Transfiguration classroom, where she looked out for him as they had that class together this year. She was starting to think he had left Hogwarts, which was a possibility, she supposed, she wouldn't want to stay here either if that happened to her, although she did think he would tell her if that was the case, drop by the Gryffindor common room or send her an owl, but maybe not.

After hours of searching and asking around, she finally found Severus, in the forbidden section of the library, nose in a thick, dusty book. She walked over to him and sat down, not saying a word, just being with him, hoping he felt that she was sorry, that she wished she could have helped him more yesterday. He finally spoke 'what are you doing here, Lily' was all he said, no 'thank you' or 'hey how are you' just 'what are you doing here'.

'I'm here to say sorry, Sev. I'm here to check in with you, see how you are, especially after yesterday.'

'I don't need your pity, now do yourself a favor and get out of my life.' no he didn't get to just say that. like she could, anyway, she had a crush on him, she couldn't just forget about him.

'Let me remind you that you were the one who watched me and taught me everything I know about the wizarding world. You don't get to push me away now, after everything we've been through together.'

'you've already let me. Besides, I have Carrow and Dolohov now, I don't need you.'

'no, Sev you don't need me, but I need you. So please let me back in.'

'No, Lily. You need to leave me alone.'

'fine' and she left the library in tears, having just completely lost her best friend.

Lily went back to her dormitory to think about all her memories that she shared with Severus. She sat and cried on her bed for a while, not wanting to go down to dinner and have people question her all evening, and then after the other girls went to bed, she slipped her dressing gown on, and went down to the kitchens, hungry and thirsty after the skipped meal. She politely asked the house elves for a shepherd's pie and a glass of pumpkin juice, which they provided gladly, delighted that they could be of service to 'a delightful young witch like her' and she went back to the common room. That night, when she was trying to go to sleep, she kept thinking about Sev, even though she knew she shouldn't, she couldn't help it, he was just such a big part of her life that she couldn't shake him from her thoughts.

Over the next week, she concentrated on her studies and her potion, not wanting to give in to the thoughts in the back of her mind. The revised sleeping draught was going very well, it was showing all signs of brewing correctly, thought it was very laborious work, making sure that it was in the right conditions all the time, which was getting increasingly hard because of the changing weather. Every now and then, she let herself think about Severus, giving in only when it became too much to bear, and only in private, where she could let her thoughts wander completely. She often cried when she did this, the wound of losing him still raw, and though he had told her to forget about him, and move on with her life, she just couldn't. She had no friends, and she didn't want to forget him, he meant too much to her for her to let herself do that.