If Only You Knew (kiribaku angst)

What I Wish You Knew

——————Kirishimas POV———————

The first time i saw you was.. strange. I felt differently than i did when i met other people. It felt like my entire body had been set in an oven, heat rising. I ignored it trying to pretend it wasn't there, but it never went away. You were so strong, and yet you could continue to grow stronger. Everything i wanted to tell you that i couldn't put into words. Your blonde hair looked so heavenly, something others didn't see. Your confidence was inspiring. You always knew what to say to me, to make me feel stronger. Unbreakable. But, today is the day. The day i'm going to finally tell you how i feel.

God, i'm a wreck. The moment I walked through the door to the classroom, goosebumps began to rise. Holy shit. I'm really going to do this. I walked to my seat, setting my bag down then sitting down myself. I looked over at your desk, you were turned around talking to Midoriya, like usual. I sighed, looking down at my desk. There was a letter in my pocket, just for you. All of my feeling written onto one single piece of paper.

I looked up from my desk to see Aizawa enter. He looked as tired as ever, in his normal attire. He soon began class, a boring lecture. Instead of paying attention to him, i was distracted by you. Counting the spikes of your hair, sighing dreamily. Gah, you're so manly.. i wish class could be over already. I was going to tell you at lunch, since we usually sit together i thought it'd be easier.

      As soon as class was over i stood, quickly walking out of the room, headed for the lunchroom. I'm really doing this. Wow. I thought to myself as i continued walking. Once i was in the lunchroom, i ran to our usual spot, sitting down and waiting for Katsuki. I tapped my fingers on the table. After a moment of waiting i look up to see him.. and Midoriya. "Oh, is Mido sitting with us today?" i ask, my enthusiasm fading a little as i notice their hands intertwined.
"Yeah, shitty hair. Got a problem with it?" he grumbled back in his usual tone. Midoriya waved his open hand at me, i waved back of course, trying to look happy.
"No, no it's cool man!!" i said, the tapping of my fingers getting a bit faster. Are they together now?

     Lunch dragged on. The letter still in my pocket. The rest of the day was frustrating. I couldn't focus on anything. I wouldn't cry in class though. I don't want to seem weak. I couldn't break. I stared down at my desk when suddenly my name was called.
"Kirishima." It was Aizawa. Shit. I didn't hear what he said.. uh..
"Well? Are you gonna answer the question?" he asked glaring over at me. I tapped my fingers nervously.
"I um.." I looked around the room, everyone staring at me.
"I don't know the answer." I looked down at my desk disappointed in myself. Bakugo probably thinks im stupid..

    The moment class was over for the day, i grabbed my things and rushed out of the classroom. God I was overwhelmed with emotions and questions. I sped walked all the way back to my dorm, slamming my door, and crashing onto my bed. Tears filled my eyes as i shook a bit, crying into my pillow. This is so unmanly. I must be so weak, to break over something like this. I thought to myself, continuing to cry. I wasn't unbreakable. I was broken.

    That night, i didn't leave my room. Mina came to check up on me. I told her what had happened, and she hugged me, trying to tell me that i wasn't weak. I didn't believe her. Her words were a blur to me. I didn't sleep. I couldn't. My thoughts were racing all night. The image of Katsuki and Midoriya holding hands, being together flooded my mind. Gah, they look so happy. As long as he's happy. I tried to convince myself everything was alright. I was such a mess. It killed me to see them like that, but, he would support him either way. That's what friends are for. Right?