If Only You Knew (kiribaku angst)

Quiet Stares

————————- Kirishimas POV ——————————

    I sighed, as i looked over at the two. Bakugo and Midoriya? How does that even work? I thought Kats hated Mido. I thought he told me everything.. I guess I was wrong about that too. I looked away trying to save myself the extra heartache. I put my head down, as i ignored everything going on around me. I wanted to sink into a hoodie, and pretend nothing had happened. Pretend that Bakugo loved me instead of Izuku. But no matter how much you want to, you can't change the truth. Neither could i.

I fell asleep while having my head down. I guess it's because I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. I woke up to Kaminari cheering and going on about something. I look over at him, confused and half asleep.
"Guys!! I'm going to have a party in the common area for my birthday tomorrow!!" he exclaimed excitedly, looking around the room.
"You're all invited!" Mina added on. I sighed.
"Are you in bro?" Kami asked, as he walked over to me. I nodded.
"Yeah, I've got nothing better to do anyways.." I mumbled, putting on a smile. I wanted to be there for my friend on his birthday. Maybe Bakugo will be there.. I thought to myself, looking over at him. Suddenly Midoriya spoke up, over to Kami,
"I don't think i'll be able to make it.. I promised my mom i'd come home to see her." Kaminari nodded
"That's alright bro! Maybe next time." he smiled. Midoriya won't be there..

After class i tried to rush back to my dorm but was stopped by a voice shouting for me. Blasty..?
"Hey!! Shit for brains!" he shouted, walking up behind me. I turned around, confused.
"Yo! Hey blasty!" i waved, struggling to keep this smile up.
"What the fuck?" he grunted looking down at me.
"Huh? What's wrong?" i asked, frowning a little Did he find out?
"Why the hell are you avoiding me?" he asked, still sounding angry, per usual.
"I'm not avoiding you, Bakubro!" i lied, trying not to seem upset.
"You haven't talked to me all day. Are you sick or some shit?" he asked, a hint of worry in his voice.
"No, i'm fine. You've just been talking to Mido a lot, i didn't want to interrup.."
"Well, yeah. We're dating or whatever. You can still fucking talk to me dumbass." he said, his expression unchanging. I frowned at those words. I couldn't help it. I was right. They were dating.
"Oh, congrats Blasty.. Uh, i've actually gotta go- i promised Mina i'd hang out with her today.." I lied looking off to the side.
"Oh. Alright. Just stop being so stand-offish. It's annoying." he grumbled, looking down.
"Yeah, alright," I waved "See ya, dude!" I smiled, beginning to speed walk away from him, leaving him standing there.

I collapsed on my bed. Damn it.. I let out a long sigh. I didn't want to move. I felt so weak. So tired. So drained. I wanted to talk to him about it. I'd usually be with him, but there i was, laying on my bed, upset about something i couldn't change. Maybe Mina will stop by.. or not. She's probably planning the party with Kaminari. I sit up, looking around my small dorm. I looked over at the punching bag. Maybe i can punch out my emotions. I think to myself, before standing and walking to the sand filled bag. I take a step back then begin punching the shit out of it. My anger rising as i think about Bakugo and Midoriya. WHY COULDNT IT BE ME? IM JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH!! I grunt as i punch it harder and harder, my quirk activating, making the punches harder.
"Damn it!" I shouted out of anger, stopping, and breathing, my quirk deactivated as i begin to cry once again. I was so weak. I step towards the bag, hugging it hard as i cried out. I just wanted to be in his arms. I wanted to cry into his arms. A knock suddenly came from the door. I sniffed wiping my face with my shirt. Shit- I begin to worry as i walk over to the door. I opened it slowly, looking at the ground, then up to see who it was. Mina. Thank goodness.

"I'm so sorry, Kirishima." she mumbled as she let me hug her. I had told her how I was feeling, like i had the night before. I trusted Mina a lot. She could be noisy and loud at times, but when it really counted she was always there for her friends. And that included me.
"Thank you for coming to see me again, Mina." I sniffed, letting go of her.
"It's alright, Kiri. I wish i would've known before how you felt about him. I know how hard this must be for you." she said trying to calm me down.
"It's fine. Can you stay with me for now? I don't want to do anything stupid, and i just don't want to be alone right now." I asked in a quiet mumble. She quickly nodded,
"yeah of course. I don't mind staying here." she smiled a little, reassuringly. She ended up staying until curfew. That night I was able to sleep, peacefully.