tu stultus es

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When will I seize the day?

Tomorrow or today?

I wish I knew.

I wish I had a clue.

I wish, I wish, I wish—

All this wishing,

But never doing.


What will seizing the day even be

For a girl like me?

(I think I have got everything!)

Doing as I please?

That is what I do already as it is.


How entitled of me!

Who am I to you or me

To be doing as I please??


I have lost my damn mind.


How have I not been left by my kind?

How have they not ostracized me?

Surely they are blind!


Or

Well

Perhaps

Could it be—


No.


The possibility of that

Is perplexing.

I refuse to believe.

Because to believe is to see.

And I have seen none of it.

Granted,

I am not in search of believing;

Therefore,

I do not see.


There are instances

When I think I have seen something.

Then

Blip.

It is gone.

I am under the pretenses:


All is lost.


Who is to blame?

My mother?

My father?

Or the claim I once made?


Or

Well

Perhaps

Could it be—


All is not lost.

Only me?

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