YOUR SMILE | sugawara koushi

1 | 𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝

[ e d i t e d ]

italics and bold- is for internal monologue

• september 17, 2002. you were just an eight year-old kid but that's just how life is, no one's exempted from it's misfortunes, kid or adult. it was a cold and rainy night when it happened.

it was around 1 am, you woke up because of loud noises coming from downstairs, you went out of your room and sat down on the highest staircase, your eyes wandered, searching for the cause of the noise that woken you from your slumber.

you heard your mother screaming, her voice terrified, you were filled with worry. suddenly your eyes flicker to where the sound came from. you saw your mother, sitting on the floor, her back pressed against the door. her eyes red and tears continuously fell on her cheeks. that sight broke your heart, it filled the corners of your eyes with warm tears.

you noticed that her arms were covered in bruises and her legs had scratches, her left cheek had a scar. you continued to cry for you know you can't do anything to help her. after all you're just a kid, a small and delicate one.

'don't you ever touch my f/n again! don't you dare hurt her, bring all that anger on me but never again on her.' your mother uttered with clenched fists.

'hmm, you know, how did you?' your father asked.

'it doesn't matter!' she yelled.

he simply nodded and finished polishing his knife.

'i love you my dear.' your mother mumbled then her eyes traveled up to you, she smiled weakly and closed her eyes.

your tears fell as you saw your mother get stabbed repeatedly, you rushed back to your room and locked the door. you laid down on your bed. no this is just a dream. i'll wake up from it and once i do, i'll see my mom again, happy and alive. you reassured yourself, no, more like convinced yourself.

you closed your eyes and attempted to go back to sleep but when you closed your eyes all you could see was the scene from earlier, how your mother looked so helpless.

afterwards you gave up on trying to go back to sleep.

you just laid down there, feeling different kinds of emotions, guilty for not being able to help your mother, betrayed because you trusted your father so much, terrified and uneasy.

will he do this to me as well? you questioned yourself. if so then do it already so i can be back in my mother's arms. you thought then hugged your pillow tightly, closing your eyes once again.

when dawn came, that's where you finally drifted off to sleep.

- - -
•september 20, 2002

the next morning came, the sun was shining brightly, the clouds were scattered across the sky, birds were singing and the wind passed by. it's a beautiful day outside, the weather's nice but it's the exact opposite of how you feel.

you went down already in your school uniform and started to eat breakfast.

'so how was your sleep?' your father asked.

'it was fine~!' you replied with your normal jolly voice. in reality you didn't get enough sleep and you were really tired but you tried your best to put out an act.

'where's mom?' you asked hoping that she is alive despite of already knowing that she was killed.

'she's gone and by gone i mean she left for work.' your father said with a smile but you knew he was lying, you knew what you saw is real and that it's no dream. you just wanted to make yourself feel better.
liar.