Behind the smile...bvb fan fiction

Dya wanna know my story?

I moved from England to Hollywood CA a while ago; about 2 years or so, and for all that time I've been bullied, called stupid pathetic names and been punched too many times to count. A new bruise everyday if not more. Suicide- It's always been on the cards but I've just never played that card; yet anyway.

I knew that black veil briddes lived there but there was another reason... My dad was extreemly violent and deffinatley agressive, he didn't give a toss that I was his daughter he just treated me like a piece of shit and when he was being nice he treated me like a stranger that had just picked a fight with him. In appearence he was a skank with greasy, straglly brown hair, tied back, thin but flabby arms and he was suffocated in tattoo's. He beat me and my mother almost every single night and when he didn't he was out on street corners doing drugs and trying to find a prostitute that was 'fitter' than my mum. So really the beating sityuation hasn't changed but now it's being done by a group of people not just one..

We moved to try and escape him and yet I still live in fear of his presence in my home, I can never sleep easy again. Me and my mum live in a beautiful beach home, It has a pool with a waterslide, bar and the most gorgeous room you could ever think of. It's not that I'm ungrateful but having 'it all' doesn't seem to be that great. I still need a miracle and I know how I can get one.

I'm now going to describe my mum to you; shes the most beautiful person I know inside and out. She has long and black smooth silky hair with a pale smooth well shaped face. She's slim and she cuts herself... so do I but she desn't know that yet. She is so beautiful though and she doesnt deserve all the trauma shes been put through, she needs a break...

So now I'm gonna tell you about my ways of self harming. I cut myself, take about 5 painkillers a day. I've made many suicide attempts by trying to drown myself, I nearly hung myself then I talked to a great friend of mine that has now passed on after hanging herself... That one event really made me question life and how much people take for granted and if it really is worth all the pain in the end? Should I keep myself alive only to be disapointed once again? I still cry over and over again each night just thinking about everything thats wrong with the world and my life. I'm not being vien but my life is really not worth it at times. 

Grace: Well she has made things even worse, becuase sade (pronounced sharde (my friend) went to our school Grace always reminded me of what a scumbag she thought sade was, I go into the toilets and cry most breaks. I alwyas felt judged at my school- it's not a very big school either its got 11 teachers and about 30 in each year group. She has almost the whole school on her side (exageration but about 3 whole year groups hate me and love her..) anyway back to reality unfortuatley for me you'll see why in the next chapter