Bug Bites

Chapter | Three

Adrien Agreste was a lot of things, you could ask someone and get totally different things.He was a top model who had a pretty hefty following, he could fence and he could even speak some mandarin. People would describe him as kind, loyal, and a good friend. Over all a good guy. The one thing he was not used to being called was a coward.

He wasn't stupid though, maybe naive and he knew that. He knew that he lacked the confidence he had as Chat Noir. He knew that was as stupid as it sounded, but Adrien couldn't act like Chat Noir. He could never be that untamed liberty Chat Noir came with, no- he had to be this perfect image for his father. All he wanted was his father to truly love him, and every single day it felt like that goal was more and more unattainable to reach. 

What he hated the most was being left out of the loop, out of the choices made y Ladybug. He'd like to think he'd be a deciding factor for Chloe to be a permanent hero in the city, because that's what partners do. Yet Ladybug also seemed far away from his reach. Even so, he worried about Chloe being a miraculous holder. That Hawkmoth would recognize her or Pollen's hair comb miraculous. He had valid worries, some that Plagg couldn't really smooth over. 

"Chloe is a true holder, like you and Ladybug. She was destined for Pollen, despite her past. She will do the right thing like you and Ladybug do at the end of the day when it counts." Plagg says, shrugging and swallowing a piece of camembert. 

True holders, it was something new to him and selfishly it also made him relieved that he would have Plagg until his last breath. Destiny was something Adrien always wanted to believe in, but was never sure. Never sure if it was just a fantasy. Yet at the same time it was something he didn't deserve. He didn't deserve it after all he has done to the one girl that did nothing but wear her heart of her sleeve and accepted everyone with open arms.

Guilt. 

He was guilty for the hand he played in Marinette's misery when it came to Lila. He was too scared to really stand up for her and risk his friendships. He wanted to hold onto those friendships so desperately he may have ruined one of the best ones. The guilt burned his mind every morning he woke and every night he went to sleep.

The guilt that coursed his veins had started when he noticed Marinette's seat open and abandoned for two days straight. Then the two days turned into four, then six and then eight before someone raised their hand in the beginning of class of Miss Bustier's class. Of course it was the one person who was ruining everything.

"Where's Marinette?" Lila had asked, tone laced with false concern. 

Miss Bustier blinked, sighing softly and looked at the girl, "Marinette has gone for the summer on a fashion internship."

Murmurs swept across the room, confused why she didn't say anything for leaving Paris. Wasn't Marinette their  friend? Why would she keep something like this from then? The hurt was clear as day on Alya's face.

"Oh! How good for her!" Lila forced a smile, "Where did she go?"

"New York." Was all that Miss Bustier would say, moving onto the lesson of the day and leaving Lila scowling when no one was looking. 

Adrien was proud of Marinette, proud of her going after what she dreamed. It was what she deserved after giving so much of herself to everyone else. Yet he didn't have the right to be happy for her. He had time to think about that a lot recently, how his actions affected people. He was a horrible friend who only added to her pain. 

Chloe had made that clear, so clear that it became confusing where she and Marinette had become friends. The tables had turned, and no one knew. He knew that Audrey had offered the internship once, being faster than his own father to take a talented aspiring designer under her wing. Why his father didn't offer was beyond Adrien.