Monster Within [ Killua Zoldyck x Reader ]

One: Monster

If you haven't read the description on the story it'll probably help :)

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"NO! PLEASE! LET ME OUT OF HERE! THAT ISN'T ME! YOU GOTTA HELP ME!" A young male screamed and cried, kicking and squirming violently in the hold of the two hunters, one of them being his best friend. "Killua. We have evidence that you were the one causing all that chaos. I'm sorry but this is for your own good." Gon sadly replied, almost in tears. Killua looked up at him in disbelief. "Gon... why don't you listen to me? Something else is taking over my body and we need to figure out what.. I know you still care... right?" Gon glared down at his former friend. "Someone who took the lives of too many innocents to count can't be considered my friend."

That's when Killua's entire world shut down. Just because of a stupid walk in the woods with his sister. All his friends turned against him and his sister has been captured. And he did the thing he swore he'd never do again. Kill innocent people. Now he's going to be locked up until he is permanently healed and his sentence is over. Which will be a total of 100 years. He's going to die in a cell. Because of this stupid demon inside of him.

The two harshly threw the albino into the extremely protected room.

"You will be given breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then physical torture for about three hours, the best way to help with your, "problem." And don't bother trying to escape or kill yourself. It's impossible. This is the cell we save for people such as yourself. We'll be back in the mornin'."

The other guard left while Gon turned to look at him one more time. The albino just curled up and sobbed into his knees. Gon sighed and closed the door.

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*CRACK*

Killua gasps out in pain, spitting blood out onto the dirty floor of the basement. 'I thought I was used to this...? Why does it hurt so much? Fuck...'

*CRACK*

    
Killua curled up into a ball, shaking in pain and stayed that way throughout those three endless hours of them whipping, beating, and screaming in his face.

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Killua shakily took a bite of his sandwich, deep in thought. Or trying to think the best he can through all the pain. He only gave in because he knew how much distress and grief he caused. Plus it's not like he has friends anymore. 'Maybe staying is for the best...'

'Maybe it is.'

'Shut up. I don't want to talk to you.'

'How rude, talking to the only person who is still by your side in such a manner.'

'You started this. You took them away. You turned me into a monster. I hate you. Always have, and will.'

The demon in his head stayed silent after that for a while. Leaving Killua lonely and depressed as ever.

He didn't expect his life to go this downhill.

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Killua painfully endured years of suffering and torture, both mentally and physically.

And every night he turned into the same thing that killed thousands of people.

The same thing that tore his life apart.

It made him depressed.

Made him lonely and deeply hurt.

It made him a monster.

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Three years later, Killua has completely changed. Once a snarky, funny, (mostly) outgoing, little boy. Now he has become quiet, depressed, scared, and closed off.

The light that was in his eyes was long gone. He lost everyone and everything. His friends, his sister, his freedom, and his will to live. If he could, he would've killed himself already.

He hasn't seen Gon, or anyone besides the same two guards ever since he came to the awful place.

And now, he was huddled over in the corner, counting the tiles on the wall, like he always does.

Like he has been for the past three years.

Killua almost had a panic attack when the door swung open to reveal a new face, but with the same stern expression as everyone else he's seen there. He gulps nervously and looks towards him.

"I-I... don't think it's time yet, sir."

He cleared his throat which made the male shrink back into the corner, his empty blue eyes squeezing shut, preparing for them to start yelling at and scolding him. But he was never met with the yelling, instead he simply spoke.

"Someone is here to see you."

Killua's eyes widen in shock.

'Who could it be...? Gon...? Kurapika...? Leorio...? Do they still care...?'

'Of course not. Even if they were they'd just be here to yell at you. You are a monster after all, remember?'

'Oh yeah.. they could get really hurt.. I wonder who they are...'

The male approaches Killua's weak and timid figure, which begins to shake as he looks up at him the entire time, raising up his arms and preparing for impact once again.

He was only met with a mere head pat.

He flinched and looked up at him again.

The man clears his throat.

"She is a therapist. She wants to help you out. She will be meeting with you every day. You will address her as Dr (L/N). Understand?"

Killua nods shakily as the man leaves the room. Leaving the albino to sit there and question everything all over again.

'Help me..? What does he mean.. is she going to beat me too...?'

'He said therapist, dumbass.'

'Well excuuuseee me for being mentally unstable thanks to a certain someone.'

'When did you get the balls to talk back to me?'

'Bet I have more balls than you, demon piece of shit.'

Killua didn't have time to finish the inner argument because the door re-opened to reveal a lady around his age with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes. She wore a black sweatshirt and grey shorts with a pair of (f/c) tennis shoes.

She looked at him and smiled softly, causing the male's heart to flutter.

"Hey, you're Killua?" She spoke ever so softly at the male, as if she had spoken any louder, he would shatter like glass.

Killua sat there in awe at the female. He didn't know if it was being from couped up for three years or if he really was feeling something again.

'What is this...?'

'You're being stupid.'

When you come out I'm killing you.

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