Idols love. A Bang Chan FF

Chapter 16.

Months had passed and it was December. You and Chan were having the times of your lives, but you both decided to put work on the first place. You two worked too hard to lose something this unique. You still didn't say your first "I love you" to Chan because you were afraid. You never loved someone this much, but you felt that an "I love you" would screw things up.

Pandora has been breaking records and records, it has been a short amount of time... but you guys were big. Even bigger than you thought that you could get even after 5 years. It felt unreal for you.

In a week awards shows will start and you are hoping to get "rookie if the year". A lot of gg debuted this year and you didn't know if your dream was going to come true.

"Lets go practice girls! We have a difficult routine that has to be perfect." you said finishing your eggs.

" Unnie, can I.. leave earlier today? We have a tradition today and I don't want to miss it." Haeun asked.

" You are the main dancer so you can." you said smiling.

You haven't felt this happy in years... how can a person make you feel this way? You didn't know, but you weren't complaining.

After hours and hours of practice you guys finally took a break and Heaun left a few minutes ago.

You recieved a message fron an unknown number.

" Who's this?" you thought.

When you opened the message there was a photo... a photo of Chan and another girl kissing.

You didn't know how to feel about this. You knew that Chan was in the agency with the guys... he was in the next room basically.

" Girls.. I gotta check on something." you said sprinting out of the room.

You hesitated to open the door, but as you did.. he was the first one you saw.

" Hey guys.. can I borrow Chan for a moment? It's really important." you said and the nodded.

The guys left the room and Chan wanted to kiss you.. but first you needed an explanation so you backed up.

" What's wrong?" He asked.

"Please.. explain this.. I-" you said showing his the photo and his eyes went dark and then softened.

" It's true... I can explain though." he said and your heart broke in 3 billion pieces.

" Please.. explain." you said.

" She.. well. Hmmm. She was a trainee a few years ago, and we were really good friends. The kiss happened after you and I returned from Australia. I didn't see her in years... please forgive me." He said and you didn't know what to do. You weren't crying.

You recieved another message.. same person different photo. It was Chan and this girl having sex.

You gave him your phone and he looked shocked.

" I'm sorry... I didn't mean to." he said coming towards you.

" Chan... now is a good time to say it.. I love you, but this is fucked up. Get the hell away from me. Don't talk to me. Don't approach me. Go ti hell. And for the last time.. I love you, Chan." You said crying.

You got out of the room and the guys looked shocked at your sight.

" Did you know?" you asked showing them your phone.. they nodded.

" Fuck you guys too." you said going in the room where you were supposed to practice.

The girls looked shocked when they saw you.. you just showed them your phone and they gasped loudly.

Your chest was empty... all the happiness that was stored in there... disappeared. You got hurt.. again.

All this time you thought that you were going to hurt him in any way.. but it turns out.. that... he hurt you.

After thirty minutes of crying and cursing he came in the room. When you saw him.. your heart broke once again. The girls told him to get out or they will hit him.

You got up, which surprised the girls. You cleaned yourself with your towel, drank some water and said...

" Lets practice, we still have that routine to be perfect." you said and the girls obeyed.

You didn't care that those photos were taken by someone.. all you cared about was that he cheated on you.. and had the audacity to lie in your face. You don't mind the fact that he cheated, you don't hold grudges against cheaters. You were mad because he didn't tell you.. Five months. Five freaking months he took care for you to not find out. He lied too.

When you guys were over with practice you all got home.. they were afraid to talk to you. Your manager suspected something.

In the dorm, you said...

" I'll go sleep. Tell Haeun, I want her to know. If even one member of Stray kids appears at the front door, please kick him out. If h-... he appears don't even bother to open. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I need just a few hours. Don't dare to enter in the room. Tomorrow I'll be fresh." you said smiling the end holding your thumbs up, but it was noticeably that you were again on the verge of crying.

In your room.. you listened to sad music and cried.

" Why Chan..? what did I do to you?.." you said in your sobs.

It was already four in the morning and you were exhausted of crying.. but you couldn't stop. In your life you never cried this much.

You got a message from.. Chan.

" Y/n, I love you. Please, just call me. We'll sort stuff out." he said in the massage.

You left him on read, not caring at all about his feelings.

You decided to go practice even though it was 4 in the moring. You wanted to drain yourself of everything. You left a message on the fridge and your phone was on your bed.

The dorm wasn't far from the agency so you walked your way there. It's open now so you had plenty of time to get there. There wasn't a soul on the streets.

In the agency you started dancing your heart and soul out. You never danced with this amount of feelings. Your moved were pefect, but that didn't stop you from what you were doing.

You were dehydrated and your muscles were begging you to stop. You have been doing this for 3 hours and you didn't get any sleep at home and yesterday you gave your soul to dancing too.

Did you care that yiu could've passed out in any minute? Not at all.. maybe that was your plan since the beginning.

You finally took a break, you drank 10 glasses of water and you sat on the blue couch. You noticed a photocard on the floor, you picked it up and it was... Chan. You started crying one again, you were hugging that photocard and eventually you fell asleep.

Your last thought was... " Chan, I love you with my whole damn heart. Why don't you love me anymore."