Caroline Rose [discontinued]

7

I won't ever be able to capture the look in your eyes, or the crease of your brow.

I won't ever be able to describe your pale pink lips, and how they move when you speak

I won't ever be able to get your blue-green eyes out of my mind

I won't ever stop dreaming about you
Even if you were mine.

I read it over and over again
The poem I wrote for Tiedye eyes
Of course he'll never see it
He'll never know how I feel

Were these butterflies?
Or killer bees?
Fluttering in my stomach
Making my skin hot
Making my chest tighten

He doesn't even have to be here
And I respond as if he were
Hide.
Hide.
Hide.

There is no where to hide.
I'm in my room.
While daydreams dance over my head
I'm safe where I am
He isn't here
He will never know who I am

It's better this way
The demons begin
Whispering in my ear
With venom filled fangs

He is too pretty for you
Too perfect
Too wonderful

You are like a dying tree
He is like a rose
His thorns will cut you open
If you try to ever say hello

Remember that girl
He rejected with out a blink
That could be you

Put your selfish thoughts aside
And think more realistic than that
He deserves some beautiful
Not just some flee infested rat

Truth is what the demons portray
Truth is all I see
Blue green eyes fade
And all I see is me

Foolish for me to think of him
His chocolate hair and wonderful eyes

"Are you ready?"
Dad is dressed
Freshly out of the shower

Funerals.
Sleeping bodies
Lifeless
It's where the demons think I should be
In a casket with flowers
In my favorite pink dress

I yell in my mind to shut them up
And I pick out my sunday best

Dad says a prayer before we leave
We head down 93rd and 16th street
The sky is grey
Full of clouds

Cars are parked along the lawn
To a beautiful tall two story house
White and yellow curtains
Through freshly washed glass

Dad squeezes my shoulder
And then we head inside

I freeze when I look past the people
Toward the open casket in the front
Of the livingroom

I see Danielle and a little girl
Wearing black with blonde and chocolate curls
A man moves out of the way, blocking the one person I saw.

The boy.
With blue-green eyes
Is staring at the floor

"You know, Hunter, right?" Dad whispers in my ear. "He goes to your school. I think he's a junior just like you."

Hunter is his name?
He looks like a Hunter.
So strange.
His name.

Questions whirl like a tornado
Flying inside my skull
Dad leads me up to him
And Hunter looks a little stunned

His eyes move to mine
In that cautious, uncertain kind of way
Then he looks to my dad
Then he looks away

"We are sorry for your loss. Condolences from my daughter and me." Dad says to the boy.

Hunter doesn't look up.
He pretends to ignore.

Out of no where I hear my voice
Talking slow and low
But loud enough for him to hear

"Tiedye eyes."

He looks up out of curiosity
But this time doesn't look away
I can't read his expression
As dad rushes me away.