Tomorrow's Yesterday

Chapter 1

By all means, I thought 3 months are enough to get over your ex. After that phase, you can start a new life, find new hope, and live your entity in any way you want.  But I guess I locked myself with the idea of "I thought" and I don't know where to find the key to get out of it.

I honestly don't know what went wrong, kung may nagawa ba akong mali or if there's something I was not able to give her. But one thing is for sure, I loved her. I really did.

Naaalala ko pa rin yung mga luhang halos magkarera sa pagbagsak sa mga mata ko nang malaman kong iniwan niya ako.  The sad this is, those tears can't provide me at least a reason why she left.

Sabay kaming nangarap, napakaraming pangarap. But how could we fulfill those dreams, kung ako na lang mag-isa? Can I still call it our dream  kahit ako na lang ang tutupad nito? Will it still be worth it if I make those dreams come true? without her?

Ilang taon na akong hindi nakakarinig ng anumang balita tungkol sa kaniya. First of all, I'm trying to avoid any talk about her or concept that includes her. I can't even mention her name, only my mind does.

I moved here in Europe to work and make our dreams happen. And after three years of being here, I can't deny that there were times that I questioned if the thing we has was really a relationship.

Remembering the quote my high school teacher taught us, "There are many ways in kiling a chicken". And I believe, there are many ways in moving on, and this is how I heal myself from the pain she caused me. Gusto ko siyang kalimutan habang tinutupad ko lahat ang mga pangarap naming dalawa. Pangarap na binitawan niya sa hindi ko alam na rason.

Nandito ako ngayon sa Bridge of Sighs, this is where I planned to propose. Ang cheesy 'no? But this was my dream, my dream for us. I even bought a ring to make it more realistic. Hayst, sa pagkakaalam ko worth it naman ako eh, pero bakit iniiwan pa rin ako? This is becoming dramatic, and I'm not happy with how it. I better go home and stop this stupidity. 

While I'm on my way home, I received a call from papa. Medyo kinabahan ako dahil gabi ngayon sa kanila at bakit siya tatawag ng ganitong oras. 

"Yes pa?" silence. Ilang segundo na ang lumipas pero wala pa rin akong naririnig na salita maliban sa mga hikbi ng aking ama. 

"Pa, what's wrong? Bakit may naririnig akong umiiyak? Are you crying?" sunud-sunod kong tanong.

"Can you come home?" he asked. Wait! What? Anong meron? Rinig na rinig ko ang malakabayong bilis na pagtibok ng puso ko. Ano bang nangyari? 

I calmed myself first before asking what happened. 

"Why? Anong nangyari?" I asked in my normal voice kahit alam kong there's really something wrong.

 "Your lolo" What?! Anong nangyari kay lolo?  

"Tinakbo namin sa ospital at gusto ka niyang makausap." I'm in total shock. 

"Putangina" hindi ko naiwasang magmura sa sobrang gulat. Nag-unahan sa pagbagsak ang aking mga luha dahil sa narinig ko. I know lolo better than anyone. I know how much he hates to be in the hospital. I know how much he fears bloods, syringe or any hospital-related stuff tapos ngayon sasabihin niyong nasa ospital siya?

"Ok pa, tell lolo I'll book the earliest flight tomorrow, and tell him na magpalakas and to not worry about me for I'm fine." at saka ko binaba ang tawag. I still can't believe na napilit nilang magpahospital si lolo. It only means one thing, he's in a critical condition.

Right after I got home, nagbook kaagad ako ng flight for tomorrow via their website, I booked the earliest one like one I told dad. I also informed my boss about what happened and filed a two-month leave.