The Heartless Void

Splash?

Ruben's POV

The cold water hit me as I submerged into the water. As a natural instinct,I quickly swim up to the surface. It didn't let me. It was like I was bumping into... Glass. Thick glass. I was panicking,it felt like I was going to... Drown.

The thought of dying really scared me. I kept banging my fist onto the glass, took a deep breath...wondering if that's really the end of me. Until everything just turned...dark.

It felt like I was floating in nothingness. I started to kick around,failing my arms around. Panicking. Just... Scared. I was breathing normally,but it was so... Dark. Everything felt so vivid,it was freaking me out. It's really hard to describe this... Empty feeling.

I was over thinking all this,making me repeat the actions I done earlier,

I wish I could have woken Alice up to tell her what I'm going to do.

I wish I could have tell her more things,

About my feelings.

I wish I could have been more honest with my answer.

I wish I could have told my crush something.

My crush is Alice.

My thoughts felt so sudden.

Just darting around like,

I wish I could said 'I love you.' to Alice.

I wish I could just... Not be stupid and fall into this... Darkness.

These emotions...are really getting to me,making me feel paranoid.

What is this feeling?

Regret.

Now... Here I am.
Truly alone.... Each time I looked down,I felt like I was falling continually. I felt like crying. Not because about how cold it was down here,but how lonely I(it) seemed.

I'm just a highschooler.
Wanting to play the piano for someone,being able to teach that someone,being able... To do something!

I wanted to write damn it! I wanted to catch up with the others! Do things with them! Like graduate! Be successful! Buy some shit from Starbucks! Make Alice my wife! Hell!.... If I'm asking to much...

I'm not! I'm not asking to much! I can't tell if I'm being selfish or not! I just curled up into a ball,just crying out loud. Not giving a damn since no one else could hear me.

I cried,and cried,and cried...

I'm stuck just here! In this... Stupid darkness!

I wanted to have a fun.

I wanted to at least have a girlfriend.

Go on a date.

Go through a break up.

Many things.

I wanted to do more in life.

I wanted to get a job.

I felt the tears pouring down my face. I felt like a cry baby,knowing all the things I done... Are now a waste.

Why?... Why do I feel... So regretful? Why am I here?! Falling down like its nothing! I buried my head into my hands,sobbing even more. Knowing I can't do anything.

I feel like I'm going to be stuck in here forever.

Like a nobody.

[Around 2:45 am]