ShinDeku Drabbles

Ch 7: Told By Two

Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide and self-harm.

Edit: Since I can't figure out strike through text on Wattpad, I've had to make do. Text looking like this: {text}, enclosed in curly brackets and underlined is actually text that is supposed to be crossed out. It's to show the person's jumbled thought process and in a high stakes moment.

#2 Edit: After some requests, I have added a part 3 to this. Just scroll down and you'll see it!

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Summary: There are always two sides to this story: the one who falls; and the one who catches them (but when fate is cruel, the second becomes the one who mourns).

This is a story about how old wounds don't disappear by wishing them away, and that years of vitriol have consequences.

But this also the story about how Izuku Midoriya finds one person he can share his past with, and that one is enough to save him the first time.

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Part 1

The thing about old wounds is that you can ignore them all you like, but that doesn't change that they're still there.

Someone did that to you pushed you down, grabbed your head and dunked in the water until you were drowning, over and over again. Someone beat you down to the ground, again and again until you were at your lowest and still didn't stop, no matter how much you begged.

They may have stopped now-

But that doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Those wounds happened, because you have the scars to prove they did.

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There are good days and there are bad.

He finds himself thinking back to that day, from time to time,

'If you want to be a hero so bad, take a swan dive off the roof and hope for a quirk in your next life!'

His bad days always bring him back to his worst day. Joke's on Kachan though. He got a quirk all right, and he didn't even have to commit suicide to do it.

So why does he still think about it?

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It starts when Izuku thinks, "What would happen if I did jump?"

He's thought about it a lot, dreamed about it, imagined the aftermath. It had always been depressing, because he could only ever imagine his mother missing him.

It's different now though. Now, the thought comes with a plethora of guilt. 13-year-old Izuku Midoriya hadn't has All Might as his mentor. He hadn't gotten into U.A, hadn't made a bunch of friends along the way.

16-year-old Izuku Midoriya has friends that would be devastated if he were to die. They would blame themselves for not seeing the signs, for not catching on until it was too late.

He couldn't do that to them. Three years ago, he only had his mother to worry about. Now, he has his friends and a mentor too.

(Nobody ever told him, how suicide is often a very selfish act.)

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He tried cutting his wrists, once.

That had been back when he was 14 years old, drowning deep in his feelings of helplessness. Because no matter what he did, it was never enough, right? No matter what he did, Kachan would still hate him, he'd still be quirkless, useless Deku.