she sits & stares at herself
disgusted by her reflection because
people say she doesn't fit the description of a model
she's emotionally drained
but physically smiles
everything seems to be perfect
but when these words are said to her they go through her like a bullet
anorexic, ugly, and stupid
she misses those days when school was for fun
she's afraid to walk through the doors
afraid of the words & the looks she'll receive
she remains in the mirror looking for the words to describe the person she despises
she despises herself
she despises the fact that whatever she does she'll never be happy
she doesn't understand how she appears so happy on the outside but completely drained on the inside
behind closed doors her smiles & laughs fade
they peel off
her "fake joy" doesn't return until she's in the presence of another
here we go again
here comes the pain
the pain that's left sadly kept inside her she mourns the loss of her happiness when she's alone
she realizes that this is her
the real her
she writes the script
rehearses and plays the part in her day by day life
she'll continue to play the role until she finds out what happiness feels like
this is life written by her
erases the happiness
doodles the pain
she's an actor
hand her all the emmys
as she resumes this life of pretend
YOU ARE READING
she only wants to be "perfect"
Poetry"dont save her. she doesn't want to be saved by anyone but herself."
